1. - I consider any flight a great flight if at the end of it I am alive. I understand that that is both a low threshold for quality and slightly disrespectful of the work of the misguided folk who are supposedly in charge of "statistics" (is that even a word?) but anyone who would like to persuade me otherwise is going to need to stifle. The great news is, that anything above that - for me - is utter bliss. So I'm the perfect passenger in many ways. The fact that I get all teary eyed and kiss both the pilot and the ground upon reaching my destination should just be ignored by the mainstream media.
But let me share a few things. I love Southwest. Not only do they have a Kydia delivered alive record of 100%, they have added comfy armchairs with outlets for power and USB at both Austin and Denver terminals.
Southwest is blogger friendly. Spread the word, my electronic missionaries.
2. I had a seriously Irish pilot on leg 1 - Brennan was his name (yes I interview them all and sniff their breath. Sometimes I do a surreptitious background check on my blackberry - do you want Hannibal Lecter judging a safe altitude for deploying landing gear while imagining his tasty copilot's compliment to fava beans and a nice chianti??? I didn't think so!)
3. When I returned from Orlando, there were 13 people on my flight. The first leg of today there were 70. This leg (yes, I'm typing on the plane. Quit yelling or I will kick you off my blog) there are 50. I haven't sat next to someone - praise God - in so long. So I walked back to tell the stewies (a friend calls them that) that I was sorry for SWA but happy for me about these empty planes, whereupon they bestowed like 20 drink coupons on me. Wanna have a beer with me on a plane sometime?
3. The sad part. This old boy across the aisle is THE REASON people stereotype my beloved Texans. He's loud. He's obnoxious. He begins every sentence with "in Texas". He's a lawyer. He tells hideous jokes - I hate to even do this to you because I love you, but I have to share the one he just told to the hapless seatmates who had no idea the plane would be empty when they chose the seats of doom. "You know that pilot that landed in the river? He told the passengers - 'we can make Newark' - and they said 'no - not Jersey! Put us down in the river!'"
Really loud lawyer man? THIS is the joke you tell on a plane? You're lucky I didn't kill you with my cell phone charger and comfort those poor souls next to you while we rifled through your belongings...
4. That couple will not be speaking to each other for months. Lawyer - window. Husband - center. Wife - aisle. Wife - so completely absorbed in the inflight magazine that she could recite it to me. Husband - hapless silent victim of loud Texas lawyer. God bless you center seat man.
I don't blame your wife.
Landing in a few. Better hide the crackberry. They said on Myth Busters that cell phones don't crash planes. That's good enough for me.
Lydia B. Fiedler