Things You Shouldn't Do to Mayonnaise and Twinkies, and You Won Something!

It's really hard to narrow those titles down, you know?

I woke up at 2:16. Not quite voluntarily. Maddie, understandably, needed me to stand up and hug her for an hour. I'm serious. Every time I even bent my knees or leaned against something like a horse to try to sleep, she cried. "Look," she screams in silent feline language "You are the reason I'm in this mess. You do not have a cone on your head. You do not sleep in a tent now. You will stand. You will hold me. So it is meowed, and so it shall be."

In this state, you think about things. Like the heinous atrocity wrought upon your mayonnaise. I really need to get this off my chest. I hate the mayo I accidentally bought. Not the God given Hellman's original. No - a foul imposter.

I DON'T EAT MAYONNAISE FOR MY HEART!

SO DON'T JACK IT UP WITH WEIRD OIL OR LIGHTNESS.

AND NOW THAT I'M STANDING UP AT 2 AM YELLING ABOUT IT, LEAVE MY FREAKING POTATO CHIPS, TWINKIES, AND SOUR CREAM ALONE TOO. IF YOU EVEN CONSIDER LIGHTENING, ADDING ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER OR CHEMICALS TO COFFEE HAGEN DAAZ I AM TELLING YOU I WILL COME AT YOU LIKE A SPIDER MONKEY!!

I don't actually eat twinkies. They're gross. They used to be really good. But if they came out with a light version I WOULD YELL ABOUT IT.

I feel better.

So I will share the answer to the mystery of the dots and reveal Kydia's New Catty Pick for Fave Set, and hence a winner!

Okay - Remember the mysterious DSP dots from this "Pimp My Stamps" post? Well they are actually from a Sizzix Die - the "Flowers" die with the little daisy chain that I used on tonight's card. The dots are the centers of the flowers that I of course could not bring myself to throw away! They are the perfect size for a mini glue dot and they just cried out to be used.

So on to this ditty. I'm not good at making serious, gushy, Women's Entertainment Network, soft focus valentine's cards with 8 paragraphs about why I love you even when you leave the toilet seat up. I'm just not.

So instead, I have little pink owls that are dreaming of their true, cupcakey love!! Owl always love you, little cupcake!!

The Owl is a DoodleFactory image, as are the hearts and the cupcakes. The DSP is a combo of Raspberry Fizz and the Candy Lane. I know it's different color families, but I like them together!

And speaking of things I like, I've tortured you long enough.

If you were reading my blog during the contest, I asked you guys to get your new cattys and to guess my favorite set for a DSP paper sampler.

It was hard. My hostess club members know that every stamp I own is my fave set. I will say that the finalists included Bird on a Branch, Park Avenue Patterns, Trendy Trees, Thoughts and Prayers, Font of You, Classy andFabulous, For the Bride, Cheep Talk and That's Funny...

But in the end, my very favorite is Branch Out. There's something just a bit.. wistful about that bare tree and the tiny tiny bird that squeezes my heart. I can't resist wistful, even with "donut be sad" and "complimentary peanuts" calling my name..

So a girl named Ann (love the name) who I think made her first comment on my blog under "Ecarged" is my winner! Somehow you knew me! :) Funny how that works. Inkypaws - who I KNOW knows my little crazy heart, also guessed this. So she is my runner up and will get something also! :)

Please email me Ann!!

Hope you guys have a great night.

And oh yeah - I've got more stuff.

Thank you for all your emails today about my Splotch. s(HE) is doing great today.

XO

Me

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Kydia's Prayer (And some of your prayers answered!!)

Dear Lord -

Please protect my suitcase. It is full of paper samplers. My catalog. (LADIES - STOP YELLING - I'M CARRYING A LOT OF STUFF AND I'M REALLY SHORT - I HAD TO SHED SOME WEIGHT SO I DON'T HAVE TO HAVE BACK SURGERY!!) There are hundreds of defenseless baby chipboard owls in there. There are sweet little birdies. Make and takes.

Bestow winkos on those comoloso baggage handlers so that they are infused with gentleness and compassion for my fluffy pink Stampin' Up! flamingo that my little Maddie is waiting to tear limb from limb.

Do not allow my perfume to break and ruin those cute bookmarks.

Grant me the patience and serenity not to rip open my suitcase on the conveyer belt in Austin and kiss each safe little owl on the beak and have the white coats haul me away.

Please miracle about $2000 bones into my checking account.

And Lord - help me understand why crazy things happen to me, that make people think I exaggerate! Well, maybe I exaggerate, but still - crazy things happen to me.

For example, only Kydia sees crazy fish like this, showing her their buck teeth and saying "Hey Baby" in a Barry White voice at restaurants at Leadership, am I right? Okay - maybe the Barry White part was an exaggeration - but this is a crazy fish!!!
Now - on to YOUR prayers!!

I will start by giving away three paper samplers. Maybe 4. Okay, 4.

First - to my downline. They announced the Promotion Commotion at Leadership - you can earn an extra $50 product bonus in ADDITION to the current promotion incentives - this is a crazy time - for promoting to supervisor or above.

So the first member of my downline to promote, beginning with today, receives a paper sampler!!

The member of my downline with the highest FEBRUARY sales - I'll give you a chance to take advantage of the new catalog and the beginning of Sale-A-Bration - will receive a paper sampler.

To downline I do not have yet - the first person to sign up as a demonstrator with me will receive a paper sampler.

To my fellow demos. The first demonstrator (you have to prove you are a demo to me somehow) to guess my favorite set from the new catalog will receive a paper sampler!! The deadline for this guess will be January 20th to give you all time to snuggle with the catalog.

To customers and potential customers - the first person to place a $100 order from the new catalog will receive free shipping on their order, as well as a little goodie bag with some of the new products!

The first person to place an online order of $30 or more will receive a little assortment of chipboard!

That's round 1!! Hopefully there's something for everyone there!

The Downline Downlow (My downline newsletter) will have some goodies in it as well for the start of the new catty, so get ready!!

And in all seriousness - pray for the safe travel home of all your fellow stampers!


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An Open Letter...

To the employers, the husbands the children and the pets of America.

I apologize.

To the employers:

I'm sorry that roughly 21000 of your workers were on my blog instead of working on their real jobs. I'm sorry they used your bandwidth sharing my pictures with their stamping friends. I'm sorry they giggled uncontrollably and began saying things like winkos and unintelligible anti-spam words which only those of us in the know find amusing. I'm sorry that some of them screamed out "SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUP!" at regular intervals for three days. Please do not fire them. They need their jobs now more than ever, as there is roughly $3500 in stamps and accessories they NEED on January 19th.

To the husbands:

I'm sorry that the few clothes that are not dirty have not been folded or put away. I'm sorry you have eaten mustard and crackers for three days. Wait - no way did you find the mustard yourselves. What am I saying? I'm sorry you had to order pizza and feed the other living beings who were not surviving on Dove chocolate, wine, coffee or tic tacs in their stamp rooms. I'm sorry that you will really be needing to pick up some extra shifts to pay for all this stuff.

To the children:

I'm sorry you are dirty and your binky is under the couch. Your mommy is busy. It's really time you were potty trained anyway - all the other kids are going to laugh at you.

Life should resume for oh, exactly ten days. But after this, I bear no responsibility for their distractions.

I can say this for them - they are passionate and hilarious people. Their time has been well spent!!

A few more pics tonight. When I get home, I'll try to fill in some blanks for you. But these should really be pretty exciting peeks.

Here are the Decor Elements they gave us! The words and on the back - the big flowers - EEEKK!!!

HERE ARE THE TEENY BRIDE AND GROOM DIE CUTS THAT ARE PART OF THE FREAKING UNBELIEVABLE THREE TIER CAKE POP UP SIZZIX DIE OMG.

HERE IS THE POPUP CAKE OMG


HERE IS THE CAKE AGAIN OMG

HERE IS THE OTHER POPUP BEACHBALL DIE OMG
HERE IS THE MANHATTAN FLOWER EMBOSSING FOLDER OMG I MUST HAVE THIS OMG
HERE IT IS ON A CARD OMG
HERE'S WHAT THE EMBOSSING FOLDER LOOKS LIKE OMG
HERE IS THE ARGYLE TEXTURE MADE WITH THE AMAZING TEXTURZ PLATES WHICH ARE SO FREAKING ECONOMICAL - YOU GET SIX OF THEM FOR $9.95!! OMG. ON THE LEFT, DEEPER EMBOSSING WITH A SPECIAL PAD, ON THE RIGHT, THE REGULAR WAY OMG.
HERE'S WHAT THE TEXTURZ PLATE LOOKS LIKE OMG
HERE ARE SOME OTHERS OMG DID I SAY 6 FOR $9.95
HERE ARE THE FABBY EMBOSSLITS - CUT & EMBOSS ONE STEP OMG
HOLY COW - CLEAR ROLODEX DIE YOU CAN SEE WHERE YOU'RE CUTTING OMG
Now I was so peeing in my pants over the curly label die that I didn't take a picture but it's the coolest one of all.

Look at the rolodex one and image a large open space in a die - it's a full card size. Then imagine the curly label shape in a small die - actual size of the label. The big open die that cuts the card is magnetic, so wherever you want the curly label shape cut on your card, you just move it around inside the big die, put your paper on, run it through, and the opening is wherever you want in a totally custom card!!!

I hope no one is sitting near us at the restaurant tonight because there is going to be some squealing!!

Either later tonight or tomorrow, I'm going to announce my plan for giving away the paper sampler and some other goodies, so stay tuned!! There will be opportunities for my downline, customers, and other demonstrators!! hee hee - this is fun!!!

Oh - they let us buy the left over Make & Take kits today (during which I almost got trampled to death, seriously) and everyone who bought one got to take home THE INK PADS AND MARKERS WE USED IN THE MAKE & TAKES!! So I have 6 slightly used ink pads to come home with and one is Pacific Point Blue! Yay!!!

What a great company Stampin' Up! is. I wish you could all be here and experience what a warm, classy and fun environment they create. I'll share more later - but they wow me.

Winkos to all of you!! Kydia loves you!!









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Thou Shalt not Covet Thy Neighbor's....

Bisque. In a sourdough bowl.

Or her crab cake with a yummy gingery slaw on top.


Or her pretty blue water glass.
Or the crazy little fish with teeth who is apparently fishing for himself on my wineglass.
Oh - but I DO COVET this sassy girl's sassy laptop that she decorated with Decor Elements. I saw her in the lobby on the way back from dinner! Bravo sassy girl!

Now this morning I drank one of those Naked Mango Juice Smoothie thingies. Personally, I would have called it "Nekkid" - much better marketing, but that's just how I think.

Here's what I don't understand.

1) How do they make just plain juice feel so fluffy on your tongue?? Mysterious! Very yummy drink.
2) It says right on the label "A pound of fruit in every bottle!" Really? In the bottle that clearly states "15.2 FL OZ"?? Because I'm pretty sure that Newton's third law of conservation of fruit states that if a pound goes in, a pound comes out!! I'm no physicist or anything, but this seems wrong. Plus I could really use .8 more ounces of this stuff. Yum.

Below - pics from the product demonstration boards. And if you are visiting my site for the first time, I normally have very pretty blue postage stamps up and down the sides of the site, but Google confiscated them because I exceeded my bandwidth. Supposedly they will come back. I love you Google - why you gotta hurt me like this? :(

These boards include everything that was being demonstrated in those mirror-y booths while we were doing our Make & Takes. Click to enlarge a little.

Classes all day today and the keynote!







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WHAT IS WINKOS????

How the heck should I know???

Okay, imagine this. A person has snuck off to a quiet chair in the convention center for a moment of peace & blogging, and a quite desperate man (picture a cross between Ricky Martin and Nick Tortelli from Cheers is suddenly running towards my chair, quite literally screaming "WHAT IS WINKOS???" Of course, I'm at Leadership, so naturally, I assume I've won something. Stencils, those canvas thingy's, SHELLI'S SHOES OMG THEY ARE BLUE AND STRAPPY OMG I MUST HAVE THESE or something, so I get excited too!! I yell back "EXCUSE ME???" and he, still running towards me, yells "WHAT IS WINKOS??" He is clearly desperate. I so want to get this right. So I say - "I don't know - is it a game?" His arms flap around. He is exasperated at my low IQ. I have a moment of clarity then and I say "Do you mean - where is Kinko's?" Finally, he thinks - this idiotic woman has come to her senses. "YES - WHAT IS WINKOS" he yells. I point. We are done with that.

Weird.

Okay a couple answers. Leadership is mostly classes. We had a 3 hour make & take session the first day, where we used the stamp set they gave us and make some amazing projects. We always make an extra for the Ronald McDonald House. Then we have a free night, which is why we ate sushi.

Today was an opening general session where we got those announcements about digital scrapbooking and saw Shelli demo the stencils (on a tote bag, walls and a lampshade, then with embossing paste on a vase - pics below) and then all classes - you sign up for them in whatever you want. I had four today. They are 45 minutes apiece and a wonderful combo of humor, entertainment, inspiration and great information.

Tonight - the managers get to go to Universal for the Manager's reception - they close down part of Universal for them and they get to ride rides, get a free stamp set, have a great meal, etc. I have never been a manager, so I'm just super jealous. :)

Tomorrow - classes all day, then a closing session and a keynote speaker. Should be great. They give away prizes at every session. Some people today won the digital scrapbooking software, some won the stencils, all sorts of good stuff.

Now - about last night. So, after getting yelled at by the GPS lady, we see the restaurant, but there's no parking. So we drive down the block where we see this public parking garage. I enter, on the right, like an American, at which point I see what you saw. I stopped. Cursed. Looked at Jane. I said - this can't be - it's all British!! She says - no, it can't be. That's the wrong side for Pete's sake!! So, assuming I'm still in America, I cautiously drive on the right. Of course, a car appears, going about 90, screeches to a halt in front of me, and the woman driving it starts gesturing and mouthing "WT#*$^*@#&*(???" I think - is that a mirror? Because that's exactly what I'm doing!!!) Stunned, I move LEFT, and she passes me. On the right. Going the wrong way. Walking out of this garage was three times as scary. I'm so mixed up. Orlando - explain this to me!!!

So my very very first commenter, Stephanie, and many after, was correct!!

So, Stephanie, please send me your address for a fabby Memento Mall goodie!!

To all my coworkers who think this is a vacation - do you know how hard it is to scream for three days in a row? Schlep 80 pounds of catalog, memento mall stuff, laptop, camera, chargers, phones, water, etc. around like a burro?? This is hard work!! ;)

OMGOSH PLEASE KEEP TELLING ME YOUR ANTI SPAM WORDS - YOU GUYS ARE KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ONES YOU USE IN A SENTENCE - LMAO!! PLEASE keep those coming. Although Kim's almost got me D-hall today!!

Also - WINKOS by MENTOS - you are getting a prize, as is the girl who said "I can tell you what's wrong with this picture - it's not of new catty stuff"!! I love it when you make me laugh!! Email me.

Speaking of laugh, check out the sign about the slippery floor in our bathroom. Yeah, it's weird to take a picture in the bathroom, but really? You're gonna do Jazz Hands on the way down to crack your tailbone?? Weird!!
Finally, I have something somewhat serious to say.

I would not be here if it weren't for the 10 girls in my downline, so don't think I'm here because of something I did. All you have to do is surround yourselves with great people like Neelam, Emily, Jan, Cynt, Chriss, Yvonne, Micki, Melody, Melody (Yes I have two!!) and Katherine and you will go far.

And I also want to say that I haven't decided how you will win the paper samplers or lots of other prizes yet, but hear this. I will not sell them to you. I am giving them away because I am grateful that you come here. I love teaching more than anything else, and I don't care why you come here, but if you learn something, if you laugh, if you like my kittens, if in any way your day is a little better for stopping by the old blog, then I'm a happy girrrrrrrrl. My only aim here is to add a little joy to the world and teach people stuff that makes them better at what they do. I am a Stampin' Up! demonstrator to support my own stamping addiction and because it's a vehicle for teaching and making people happy. If I find success at any part of that, I am a very lucky person and will consider it a bonus. I will only charge for things I feel I personally contribute to the value of. If I can help you be places you can't go yourself, like SU events - even better. So thank you very much for coming. I hope you win something.

And finally... before the pix

There are two things that will serve you well in your life and your business - enthusiasm and sacrifice. Be enthusiastic about everything you do, and recognize you will have to sacrifice things for love. You might have to sacrifice sleep (I don't need much, thankfully), money, time, space - any number of things. But they will be worthy sacrifices if they are in the pursuit of things you love.

However, Zig Ziglar has some other advice that I try to follow.

"You can have everything you want in life, if you are willing to help enough other people get what they want."

So, what do you want? Maybe I can help :)
















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