Come Back, Chronological Order!

My sister posted an incendiary question on my Facebook page yesterday, and ignited the angst of all of us non-millennials who have been deprived of time by millennials.

Specifically, chronological order.

One of the the things I really love about forums is that the content is in chronological order. You can find old things, or find new things, but they are in the order they happened.

Then Facebook arrived, and the world became ordered by randomness, as if that were possible. Our definitions of yesterday and tomorrow were destroyed, as we began to see Monday's posts on Friday, and not see Friday's posts at all, let alone on Friday.

It's the feeling you get inside novels with non-linear time, like 100 Years of Solitude. Time just swirls all around you, and like you're a cow out in a field somewhere, it's just "today" and don't bother with the details.

When Instagram killed off chronological order, there was rioting. (And by that, I mean people typing rude, misspelled comments with poor grammar).

But the last front in this epic war is the order of books (and podcasts) in a series. A SERIES. That word means something! But not to Amazon. Not to the Apple Podcast app, or the internet in general. Any one of you whose brain has been damaged by the humiliating act of typing "what is the order of the Louise Penny books?" into Google - we stand with you. It's inhumane. Terroristic. We must rise up and restore time on this earth before no one cares anymore. I welcome you to fight alongside me. Sadly, I can't tell you what day or time to meet me because I can't tell any of those things, BUT WE WILL FIND EACH OTHER!

Anyway - back to my beloved, chronologically ordered forum happy place - Splitcoast. We are working behind the scenes on the most fun week of the year - the Dare to Get Dirty challenges.

This is a week of challenges by Dirty Dozen Design Team members and Alumni, just for Fan Club members who support the site with their membership dues. Fan Club members enjoy instant uploads to the gallery, a monthly private gallery created by the team, and exclusive tutorials and challenges. Our wonderful sponsors have lots of prizes for them at the end of the challenges, and it's a chatty, colorful week in the gallery.

There are more challenges than there are days, since we do multiple challenges per day, so I'm sneak peeking some of my cards. What the challenge is is a secret - but I can show you my sample for Dina's challenge!

I wanted (like I do every day) to use Lemon Lime Twist cardstock with some lively black and white, so I used the new Pick a Pattern Washi Tape - this comes with five rolls in five different widths - I love the super skinny 1/8" tape - by just adhering stripes of it to cardstock. Then I die cut the Happy Birthday thinlit out of both the lime green cardstock and the taped cardstock and die cut inlaid them back together. I used a Kool Tak pencil I got in Santa Fe for a pick-up stick for the itty bitty bits. I love finding new pick up sticks. They're all a bit different. I think it makes for a fun, happy card!

Now on the white cardstock panel, I adhered a Sizzix Multipurpose adhesive sheet to the back after I die cut it, so that the openings where the greeting was was sticky and I could just piece in the die cut pieces easily. Then I glued the whole thing to the card base.

Very fun and a it's hiding a very clever challenge that will go up on the 29th!

Now for two bits of VERY exciting news! My Sweet Petunia is turning THREE YEARS OLD today!

I cannot believe how much the MISTI has changed the stamping world in three years. I still kick myself for not buying it as soon as I heard of it. I'm so grateful the MSP for all the cardstock I've saved, and how much better my stamping and no-line watercoloring is because of this amazing tool. So Happy Birthday to MISTI! To celebrate, she's have a birthday sale - no coupon needed! 20% off on the Original MISTI that was born 3 years ago, as well as grid paper and the grid mousepad. Go forth and shop here! Sale ends Friday!

And here are my two winners of the amazing Unicorn Awesomeness bundles! I've given them your names, so shoot an email to them here, and they will get your info! :)  Congratulations and thank you so much for all the comments!

LoveyameanitgogetadealontheMISTIbye.

Dear SWA Crew Member, You are in the.....

Dog house.

Yep.

Yours truly had a quite pooptacular experience with a Southwest Airlines crew member (off duty) on my marathon trek back from Chicago last week. The crew that worked all THREE of my flights that day were angels, as per usual, and got me to my destination safely and on time, without charging me 80 squillion dollars for my bags. I love Southwest Airlines.

But this story must be told.I changed my flight, as I was dying to get home a little earlier after two weeks on the road. My bags made it onto an early afternoon flight on standby, but I, tragically, did not. I waited for the 4:30 to Kansas city. The flight is oversold. The last empty seat is the middle seat in my row. The crew was waiting for an off duty crew member for that last seat. She was late.

She walks onto the plane, and my heart sinks. This person coming to sit in the last four square inches is holding my worst pet peeve in her late hands. A giant bag of stinky McDonald's grub from the airport that I will now be forced to smell. Just what I needed - the stench of a McRib or a Filet of Fish and the sounds of someone eating one micron away from my face.

Oh, but it gets better. She has two giant carry ons. She just sits down, shoves one under the seat and starts moving MY purse under the seat in front of me. I barked at her, and she leaves this giant thing on her lap, sensing through her insensitivity that I might be a woman on the edge of something quite memorable. We have pushed back. An anxious steward comes by and tells her she needs to stow it. She doesn't care. She says - "I don't have anywhere to put it." He says - "we've already pushed back - the bins are full." She says "WELL I'M NOT GOING TO CHECK IT. IT'S FULL OF FOOD". Of course it is. Probably crawdads. He sighs and takes it from her off to the back somewhere.

It gets better.Immediately following takeoff, she reaches THROUGH MY FACE to grab that same steward's arm as he sprints towards the front of the plane. She says "Hey - that bag y'all took from me (what? excuse me?) - that has my headphones in it. Will you bring me my headphones?" I just flat out stared at her with my mouth open, hoping for the steward's suggestions about places she could have put her headphones prior to take off. I was prepared with my own list of places. Sadly, those didn't come. Shockingly, he goes and gets them. I realize that people have forgotten the fine art of devastating, colorfully worded attitude adjustments.

An hour of McRib smell later, we are about to land in Kansas. We are not changing planes, so they tell us to stay in our seats until they count us and then we can move. I'm coiled like a big cat in the jungle ready to spring across thirty rows of seats to get away from this insane person when she stands up and says "I'm gonna move." I look at her, sleep deprived me, with my sore feet and my sore throat, and I said....

"Not as fast as I am, lady."

You, with your cooler full of God knows what and your bag of offensive and your headphones - you, are in the dog house.
Is this too subtle for such an occasion you think? All white on white, punches and embosslits? Perhaps. But she could have used a little subtlety. :)

Anyway - how about those prizes I promised? You guys had some fabulous books!!

Instead of one prize, since I'm so late, I'll choose three!! I have one of the adorable tote bags from convention, your choice of pattern, one collapsible trashcan for your stamp camps or desk, and the Vintage Wallpaper Embossing Folder.

It's first come first serve for my responders - if you're first, you choose your prize first! If no one claims by Friday, I'll choose again :)

My friends at random.org tells me my winners are:

1colincary, Laurie Ludwig and Beedubya!

Thanks for all the book ideas! Off to enter them in my Amazon Wish List! Loveyameanitbye.

OH - and don't forget - my CHA pics are on the Understand Blue Facebook Page and the Splitcoaststampers Facebook Page - you do NOT have to be a member of Facebook to see them!

Have you signed up for the UBlue Cyber Club? Attended one of my Webinars?? Come on - get your geek on! :) Want to see my other blog?

Home is Where the Crazy Color Language Is...

I LOVE Nautical Flags. Is there anything cooler than communicating in blocks of color? I THINK NOT, matey!

My friend Leslie has been spelling out things with nautical flags for a while. I decided that it would be cool and all theme-y to spell out "Home" in these flags. I imagine that's a welcome signal to a weary traveler!

The background is Old World Map - a retired Stampin' Up! ditty that I will NEVER part with!

stamps: Old World Map paper: Whisper White, Brilliant Blue, Real Red, YoYo Yellow Ink: Basic Black
Accessories: Basic Black Satin Ribbon, 1" square punch (All supplies Stampin' Up!)

So all you little voyagers - come home! :)

Oh - I'll announce my BLUE prize tomorrow and have a new round!!

Have you signed up for the UBlue Cyber Club? Attended one of my Webinars?? Come on - get your geek on! :)

Want to see my other blog?

I Think I can Retire now...

Because a crazy wild dream has come true. I really truly can't believe it.

I'm a Dirty Girl!!

(This has nothing to do with Tiger Woods, I assure you...)

Today begins a six month stint on the Dirty Dozen Design Team for Splitcoaststampers! I've been screaming inside my head since I found out. I thought the Dirty Girls were born with a secret mark that could only be seen with the help of Beate's lightbox and a special ceremony..

This is a huge honor, and I hope I can live up to it. All the DD designers, past and present, are my artistic idols and women I admire greatly.

The December Fan Club Gallery, is now open, and you do have to be an SCS Fan club member to see it, so join right now if you're not! I had fun with the theme of "Home for the Holidays" and put my usual strange twist on a few of them. :) Head over with the link above and check out the work of these amazing women!

So, if I had to retire from stamping tomorrow (God forbid) I could do it happily, and though I'd make a card to celebrate. This is a litte 3x3 kraft notecard with the new Pinking Hearts border punch, new Sending Love Epoxy Brads, (all from the upcoming Occasions Mini Catalog) and new unmounted stamps - Good Neighbors from the Upcoming Sale-a-Bration Catalog.

I wonder what I'll do now that I'm retired. Mmm... STAMP. :)

Have you signed up for the UBlue Cyber Club? Attended one of my Webinars?? Come on - get your geek on! :)

Want to see my other blog?