Monday, September 21, 2009

What Do You Write About?

My friend John, owner of EverCats, asked me the other day how I find what I write about here. Of course, I told him that I sit down for exactly one hour and eleven minutes every day at my writing desk with a list of current events, a thesaurus and a Red Bull and crank out brilliant and well worded essays that are backlogged so that I have years of material should I become unable to think clearly for a period of time.

That's a lie.

Actually, it's two lies - because I don't do that, and I didn't tell him that.

I told him I just take all the crazy things that happen to me every day and put them here in front of you, my victims.

Here's yesterday's crazy thing.

Catnip makes Maddie rip all the fur off of her tail.

With events like that, I hardly need to make things up. Now I have a cat that looks like a rodent.

So there you go.

With that, I bring you - Make Me Laugh Monday!
Last week's winner is.... CASSIE for that hilarious video of that little boy giving his "evil look". Hysterical. Cassie - send me your address!

To play along with Make Me Laugh Monday you just need to leave a comment with a PG-13 funny - it can be a story, a video, a picture - but you need to leave the comment on this post to be eligible! If you win, I will send you a stampy prize!

Last night, I needed a quick card because I got started stamping late.

Stamps: Friends 24-7 Ink: Basic Black, Whisper White Craft Cardstock: Kraft, Kaleidoscope DSP
Accessories: Rub-on, Colored Pencils, 1" circle punch - All Supplies Stampin' Up!

The Kaleidoscope DSP is CRAZY BEAUTIFUL IRL. I didn't think I'd like it based on the catalog picture, but it is BEAUTIFUL!! Even if you're not a sherbet-y person, which I'm not, you gotta give it a try!

I apologize for it being Monday at all, but I hope you have a good one anyway! :)

Have you signed up for the UBlue Cyber Club? Attended one of my Webinars?? Come on - get your geek on! :)

Want to see my other blog?


  1. Oh, I am sorry that Maddie is now a rat of sorts. That is funny because I was just reading a recipe for kitty treats and it had cat nip and I was thinking I wonder how Maddie and splotchy like cat nip cuz my Sheba is not effected at all by it.

    Happy monday.

  2. Catnip is weird.

    The card is cute- right after you oohed and awed over your paper last night- I found a pair of girls Capri's that match the paper exactly- coinky-dink? Maybe.

    Speaking of "victim's"- I have a story to tell you about victim's AND cats.

    I worked for a Czech vet once. I helped him spay and neuter cat's. I'd bring him each animal one at a time to get "fixed".

    The vet had a thick accent and could not pronounce his "v"s as we American's do. He say "w"'s instead. As in "wegetable".

    First day of my job- the vet had done a neuter and told me to go get his next "wictim". I got the giggles and the "wet" was not pleased but we went on.

    Later that day I asked when-in a cat's lifetime- it was the best time to spay/neuter them. He told me that is was best when they were "wirgins". Well, I really started laughing and the vet looked "wery, wery" angry.

    I managed to get over the giggles and continued to work there even though i almost got fired my first day.

    The End, love Cletus

  3. OK, I'm laughing. Wery, Wery hard at Lisa's MMLM story.

  4. Ok, since you had so much fun on talk like a pirate saturday and you seem to have a love for words and everything about them consider this from an international racounteer that drops in on your blog now and again.

    How to swear like an old prospector
    by Ransom Riggs - September 19, 2006

    Now that swearing like a pirate has jumped the shark, isn’t it time we exhumed another subgenre of anachronistic curse words? To save us all from another “scurvy dogs” joke — one more and I will walk the bloody plank — I humbly propose replacing all naughty pirate jargon with crusty old-prospector talk, which is just as colorful, if not more expletive-laced. But this time, let’s be smart about it — nerdy, even — and figure out from whence they came before we start throwing them around willy-nilly. To that end, here are my top five old prospector curses, and their respective, only slightly questionable, etymologies:
    1. To dadburn
    Function: verb
    Definition: to curse
    Etymology: “Dad” is a substitute for “God” in turn-of-the-century Southern U.S. vernacular. “Godburn” certainly sounds like Old-Testament-style divine retribution; ie, to curse.
    Use it in a sentence: “Dadburned boll weevil done ‘et my crop!”
    2. To hornswoggle
    Function: verb
    Definition: To embarrass, disconcert or confuse.
    Etymology: Belongs to a group of “fancified” words popular in the 19th century American West, invented to ridicule sophisticates back east. (Funny, it didn’t quite work out that way.)
    Use it in a sentence: “I’ll be hornswoggled!”
    3. Sockdolager
    Function: noun
    Definition: A big finish.
    Etymology: A mis-heard, semi-spoonerism of the word “doxologer,” a colloquial New England rendering of “doxology,” which was a Puritan term for the collective raising of voices in song at the end of a worship service. Thus, a “sockdolager” is something truly exceptional — the end-all-be-all.
    Use it in a sentence: “Well, I guess I know enough to turn you inside out, you sockdologisin’ old man-trap!”
    Fun fact: The above line appears in Tom Taylor’s play Our American Cousin, which was performed on the evening of April 14th, 1865 at Ford’s Theater. It got a big laugh from the crowd, which John Wilkes Booth used to muffle the sound of the gunshot that assassinated President Lincoln.
    4. Consarn
    Function: noun
    Definition: The whole of something, though often misused as “damn.”
    Etymology: Unknown, though it pops up in British literature as early as the eighteenth century. An educated guess: it’s related to concern, a business establishment or enterprise.
    Use it in a quip by 19th century American humorist Henry Wheeler Shaw: “Put an Englishman into the Garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blarsted consarn!”
    5. Dumfungled
    Function: adjective
    Definition: Used up
    Etymology: Also unknown, though it was coined during the Great Neologism Craze of the 1830s, and its common usage didn’t survive the turn of the century.
    Use it in a sentence: “Ye’d best put that dumfungled hoss out to pasture!”

  5. I recently added paper arts to my blog and my first post was about Polished Stone Technique. Friday evening I received an illustration of my post by a reader. I posted his illustration this weekend (9-19). Hope you get a laugh!

  6. oh - i'm wery excited to be the winner. altough a teensy-weensy bit bummed that i'm not in your address book already! haha - no, i'm just kidding! maybe if i become more wibrant and wiwacious.....but not woluptuous.
    Perhaps if I wolunteer at a cat shelter?

    well - i think i'm probably the only one laughing at this point!

  7. Well, Sh_t....I can't stop laughing at Lisa Page's Vet story! My eyes are watering. Kydia, if you don't choose her for this weeks MMLM winner, there is something wrong with your sense of humor. OMG, I keep having to backspace and correct my typing because I am laughing and crying so much. Cletus, you kill me! I might finish this comment today!

    Well, I don't have a good story, but I am hoping that Maddie's tail hair grows back. Keep me informed, the poor little thing. Yes, I am still laughing. I also wanted to tell you that I love that card. It is very pretty.

    Ok, I can't type anymore, I gotta go wipe my wet eyes.


    Lisa aka. The Cat Whisperer


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