Why I'll Never go Back to VanHorn, TX - An Ode to Bacon

It's Sunday.

And in most places in this great Republic of Texas, Sunday means brunch. And brunch means ... Bacon. Champagne. Eggs Benedict. Bloody Marys. Oh yeah, and Church. But mostly, it means bacon.

This post is part of the first annual Twitter Bacon Blog Hop. There was a bit of a bacon frenzy on Twitter on Friday, to which I contributed in no small part, by posting a photo of bacon in my grocery cart as I prepped for the Sunday bacon ritual.

I suppose by now you are having some synesthesia, smelling and tasting and seeing bacon while you read this. You are welcome.

I have never encountered a word in our language that provokes as strong a joyful response as bacon does. The next closest word may be coffee, but some people hate coffee. I've never met a person that didn't sigh about bacon and imagine eating it on the spot. I remember many years ago hearing Dr. Laura, who converted to Judaism, mourning the bacon prohibition she had agreed to, describing in painful detail a delicious bacon sandwich. She's a Christian again. You can say those things aren't related, to which I say... Hooey. nom nom nom.

Anyway, my bacon story is about Van Horn Texas, a place I have been once and will never be again.

A friend - one of the nicest people I've ever met, was getting married at a family ranch in Van Horn long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away. The wedding was going to be photographed by Southern Living magazine. It was an adventure. It was going to be great.

Prior to us consulting an atlas, said friend told us it was about a 3.5 hour trip. "I drive it all the time" he says. No problem! That's like going to Dallas! For a Texan, no biggie. We are one latte away from your wedding, buddy.

Except it was 8 hours +. Through the most God-awful parts of this great state. And it was hot. And when you get to VanHorn - well, you're in Van Horn. At a Best Western that I'm pretty sure they've used in movies where Uma Thurman and Quentin Tarantino have killed people. Possibly not for a movie. And it was hot. Like Africa hot. We sat on hay bales. We sweated and breathedWest Texas dust.

But here comes the happy ending. At the wedding, which was outside, in the hot, some magical bacony goodness was born. Tom Perini, of the Perini Cookbook fame, and his cowboy cooks, catered this affair. This is not a small detail, even if you've never heard of him. This team of cowboy cooks - they transformed our lives with their covered wagons, their chaps, their stories, their smoky BBQ'd prime rib and...

Jessica's Favorite Green Chile Hominy

O
M
G

I didn't even like hominy before this day. But the transformative power of bacon came to life in this amazing creation. Nestled beside my delicious prime rib, it gave me hope that indeed, I would return from the world where random stray dogs approached me at gas pumps, and I would live to see bacon dance in my own pan once again. Transported by the bacon, I was..

I'll make a bacon confession now, that I've bared my VanHorn bacon soul to you. I'll tell you how I like my bacon.

I'd take it 100% white - I love the fat part. I don't like it crunchy - I like it just shy of that. Crisp and still sort of juicy. Not chewy - that's gross. And I cannot combine it with another meat. For example, I would never eat it on a cheeseburger. I'm Irish. My gene pool barely got one sort of meat, certainly not five piled on top of each other like the Germans. I will eat a BLT, but my favorite way to have it is next to a fried egg, cooked in bacon grease, and prepared by my mother in law, who will sit at the right hand of the bacon father in heaven for her contribution to the world via the salted, cured, stripey pieces of joy we know as bacon.

So I prepared an artistic tribute for you this morning, as the Navajo would, honoring the gift by honoring the animal who gave it.
Stamps: Walk this Way (Stampin' Up!) Ink: India Ink, White Craft Ink Paper: Basic Grey, Stampin' Up! Christmas Cocoa, Dictionary Page

I hope you enjoy the brunch I know you will have now.

The next stop on your journey is my dear friend, Monique, who refused to try chocolate covered bacon for me at the California State Fair, but who I love dearly.

If you have happened here out of order, the first stop on the First Annual Twitter Bacon Blog Hop is Leslie, of Crooked Stamper fame.

But next - Enjoy some California bacon on me. :)


Have you signed up for the UBlue Cyber Club? Attended one of my Webinars?? Come on - get your geek on! :)

Want to see my other blog?




Have you signed up for the UBlue Cyber Club? Attended one of my Webinars?? Come on - get your geek on! :)

Want to see my other blog?