Wednesday, March 18, 2009

1 Pixel of Soap

That's what we've come to.

1 Pixel of soap. Do you know what a pixel looks like? It's (*#$&ing small. (see above)

Confused? You should be, because I'm mad, and I am SUPER confusing when I'm mad.

Here's the deal. I like to wash my clothes. I know - I'm an elitist. But I do. I like to put them in my awesome little frontloader that holds like 46 pairs of jeans, and kills germs and massages my delicates and whatever else goes on in there.

However, to clean one's clothes - hey Sheryl Crow - listen up - you NEED SOAP!!!! Without soap, you just have wet clothes, dummy. Even Maddie thinks that's funny. Lordy - look at those fangs!!But here's what's happening. I have a high efficiency washer, which means I need high efficiency soap. In olden times, they used to call high efficiency soap - DISEASE. CHOLERA. THE PLAGUE.

But now, it just means - yay - smaller soap. I have carbon credits! Whoopee. Whatever. Well anyway, I'm good with the HE soap (which I think is missing an LL at the end, but I digress) even though you have to meet someone in Nepal with a password to get it because grocery stores only carry a teeny amount of it.

But when I go to the store last week and I find that the HE soap has had a visit from Rick Moranis and Honey I Shrunk Your Soap team, and the NEW AND IMPROVED container of SUPER CONCENTRATED SOAP is the size of a freaking pixel, I am not gonna lie - I blurted out a completely unladylike word, which made the guy next to me laugh. He was trying to figure out the Swiffer accessories and was possibly even more miserable. Seriously - soon, we will all be just thinking happy thoughts to clean our clothes and will achieve that fabulous Utopia Sheryl Crow dreams of where one square of toilet paper is passed around among two thousand people who are so comatose from smelling people who've cleaned themselves with a pixel of soap they don't even care about the TP situation. Yeeps. Seriously - can I have my soap back? Sometimes MORE IS MORE. I want to be clean. Cholera and stink are bad. Can we agree on that? Gimme my soap. I'm dangerous. I'm a woman on the edge.

But that doesn't mean I don't love spring!I do.

I had like WAY more than a pixel's worth of fun with my new Sakura toys on this card. I tried something a little different here - a little outside my comfort zone.

First, I stamped and embossed the flowers so I would have a little reservoir for my glaze and souffle pens. Well, that might be a lie because I didn't intent to use both when I started.

But I started with the glaze pens, and I love these pens!!! And I love the way they look on kraft cardstock. Note - when you are using them, please note they have a clear shiny medium in them, so when you are coloring with white like I did on the lilies, when you first put it on you might think you're not getting ink - but be patient, let it dry and you'll get a gorgeous opaque glaze.So I added glaze to most areas of the flowers, but then I wanted some lighter colors than I had so I moved to the souffle pens. They also have a gorgeous 3D texture to them but are a more matte finish and a seriously cool opaqueness. I think the combo is super fun.

The images are DF Easter flowers. The ribbon is Stampin' Up! Ribbon Originals. The greeting - which is heartfelt - is Starving Artistamps.

We are all so exhausted from beating our clothes on a rock to get them clean, we have to go...

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  1. Wow the kittens are really growing up, aren't they? Have a great day. Hugs n' Stuff, Lynne

  2. I know what you mean about the HE detergent. I have gotten to the point that I hoard it like folks did with water during the Y2K scare. I'll show you my Tide bunker sometime.

    Love the cards, and I had a great time last night visiting! Off to SeaWorld in an hour.

  3. I don't bother with the HE soap for mine. I use Arm and Hammer with oxyclean. I use about a 1/4 cup and everything comes out shinny and new.

    The card is great and the kittys are just beautiful.


  4. Hey Costco carries Kirkland HE environmentally friendly detergent. It's scented with natural lavendar but doesn't smell like an old lady's perfume. It gives your clothes a nice clean scent. It is concentrated but is in a nice big 160 load Costco bottle so you won't feel like it's only a pixel. thanks for the laughs! :)

  5. LOL! 160-load Costco bottle - like that would even FIT in my laundry room!! Fortunately for me, I have not yet graduated to a high-efficiency washer, so I am still destroying the environment with laundry detergent that comes in a bottle tht I can lift and is larger than a pixel. I hope by the time I graduate to HE they will have fixed that supply-and-demand issue.

  6. Okay - Okay, it's official, you made my day. I was pretty bummed out before I read your blog. How funny are you? And oh, it's all so true !!! What is this world coming too. They're going take my soap away too? I gotta run to the grocery store and check this out. What's next - I'm afraid to ask. I'm so bad, I think I need to borrow some of your carbon credits.

  7. I gave up the HE detergent. Never could find it then would choke at the price. I just use less of the regular stuff. Actually the generic Wal mart version. Nice clean and fresh smelling clothes. No Problem. My kitty even hopes in for a sniff when I swap them over to the dryer. Thanks for the smile. :)

  8. You mean that we have to put a pill in the laundry now?

  9. I think HE soap is a fear tactic and I'm not buying it. At least your washer is actually High Efficiency. The washer/dryer combo that came with our apt. was made in Vietnam or someplace where clothes are a lot tinier, because I can only fit about 4 pairs of underwear into one load. Did I mention it takes 4 hours to do a load of tinysized laundry from start to finish?

    Love the card - your right, those pens look fabby on card stock.

  10. I think I'll go with the pixel-sized or Costco-sized bottles of HE detergent instead of the Vietnamese underwear washer/dryer. Yikes! I feel like my washer is giving birth every time I pull stuff out of it. Birth to octuplets, that is. And there are some sets of twins in the back, too.

  11. This entry made me laugh out loud, thank you so much. Hilarious, love the swiffer part too, nice.
    I love to come read everyday!!

  12. Lydia,

    You crack me up! Extremely cute card, love the little flowers. Extremely cute kitty pictures too.

    Lisa A.

  13. Oh my gosh, I have a frontloader and have to buy HELL soap too - your rant cracked me up!!

    LOVE the look of glaze on Kraft!! Who knew? I need to try it.

  14. Every now and again, when I'm a little down, I'll treat myself to an extra Lydia post... it always cheers me up. It's like a snickers bar but not bad for you.
    This post did not disappoint. You CRACK ME UP.
    I am now as bright and shiny as your laundry ;-)


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