Thursday, May 26, 2011

Putting the Right People In the Right Job

You know I have some issues with the grocery store. I really try to minimize the effects by going at very odd times, like 5:30 AM or 1:17 PM so that I don't have people spooning me in the checkout line, I don't have to mace the yogurt stocker who never lets me get near the yogurt, etc. You know the drill.

But in order to avoid the Memorial Day apocalyptic binge shopping rush, I shopped before dawn today and had an epiphany. This epiphany came after I told the bagger to please make the bags weigh less than 4 metric tons apiece. He made them weigh 3.9 metric tons apiece, complying with my wishes and making me want to pepper spray him.

However, I realized that he was not the problem. He was a strapping young boy with natural upper body strength. I, on the other hand, am a vertically challenged girl. It's not his fault he's the wrong person for that job.

Stores should hire elderly, short, somewhat grumpy grandmothers as sackers.

Your bags would never weigh more than what a grumpy grammy could heft. And odds are she wouldn't put your peaches and your soup in the same bag, as I do believe that grannies value an intact peach much more than some oversized emo boy does.

Just a thought.

Here's a little ditty I did for VSN. I took a class at Jerry's Artarama on salted watercolor and I'm addicted to this technique. I might do a video. That's what I did for the background on watercolor paper with reinkers and salt. I used really heavy watercolor paper so it wouldn't curl. Then I stamped the Old World Map (retired) image on it in black. I added all the piratey goodness from Ahoy Matey, and the greeting is from Just Believe, punched with the Curly Label Punch. The background is French Script (retired). The treasure chest is stamped on this beautiful, thin cherry wood veneer tag I picked up in San Antonio. I just accented it with a gold gel pen.
Maybe after we get the old ladies bagging our groceries, we can move on to having UPS guys run the postal service...

A girl can dream!


  1. Amen sister! I actually chose lines with a couple people in them, so I have time to completely unload my cart before the checker starts to ring my groceries so that I can bag my own. I pissed off quite a few folks that way, but dang it, I paid for these peaches! :D

    Love the card - what a cool way to use that sentiment!!

  2. Amen sister! I usually pick a line with a couple people in it so I can have my cart totally unloaded when the checkers starts ringing me up - then I can bag for myself. I've pissed off a few people that way, but hey, I'm payin' for these peaches! :)

    The card is awesome; love the use of the sentiment like this!

  3. Fabulous card - those rich colours certainly evoke old treasure. Maybe I need to try the salt again, my first attempt certainly didn't look this good.
    Hey, you could always move over here - we haven't had baggers at all for years and years. Except when it's people fund-raising for charity - and since that's usually young teens I'd rather do it myself ;-) to keep those peaches and cans where they belong.
    And I even think USPS is better than some of the European postal services - some BST stamps mailed on Saturday arrived here Wed, about par. I posted a letter to a friend in Spain which took a whole week to get there - and that's fast! But oh my, the UPS worldwide saver is AMAZING - it usually arrives here the day after shipping, even with two or three hops in the States plus a stop-over in Germany.

  4. I LOVE this card! Pirate-y without being a kiddie card...that's a rare thing :)
    Also, I fully endorse your grumpy granny packing strategy. We use re-usable bags, and every clerk seems to think that a)we're going to run out of them and b)because they're cloth they can carry 4 metric tons of bread mushed in with soup. Seriously?? Sigh.

  5. Oh my goodness! You make me laugh!! I love reading your blog! Not only do we get amazing card creations, we're entertained as well!! You are brilliant!

  6. Holy hell. We totally need to go grocery shopping. I forgot it was Memorial Day Weekend...and even more salient in's race weekend. Thanks for reminding me. Now I can avoid the grocery this evening like the plague it truly is. I'll go Sunday morning during the race...I'll be able to hear my cart squeaking down the silent aisle in peace. :D

  7. You are not alone! I have the same crowd-grocery-store thing (and if it is the job of people to stock things for customers to buy shouldn't they let customers get at the stock? ;o) It's probably the only thing that bugs me about any kind of shopping, though I must say that in Vancouver there must be more footage to our personal space vibe. (Unless you just look snuggly) heehee. I'd be freaked too. And speakin' of freakin' your card is stunning. I love that deep gorgeous colour, reminiscent of sunsets on the seven seas. :o) P.S. You must eat funny for breakfast, cause girlfriend you are HIlarious!

  8. I love this card, though I cannot believe that the word 'believe' is colored red and not blue. :)

  9. what a great card! I must learn this salt technique. I will have time to do some real art stamping this next year you know!
    Seems that I have to go to costco every saturday and that is just wrong! But here I am and I will be going in just a bit. You have to stalk out a parking place first and the hope you don't get run down by someone who is much more important than everyone else so that they can get in the shortest line. HUMMMM sigh it is just crazy.

    What ever happened to small country gorcery stores where you could park out front and let the kids play and the clerck would watch them for you?

    Seems like just yesterday but that is gone now too!

    I love progress but hate that part of losing the relaxation of a small town.



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