Thursday, May 5, 2011

Squirrel Lanes

It's City Council  election time here in Austin. This means it's time to select a new group of clinically insane people to replace the current clinically insane council members we have now. Most of the asylum escapees who run for these positions seem to focus on new and different ways to impede traffic in our town. They like trains that go from places no one lives to places no one works. They like to substitute bike lanes for car lanes. The new group probably likes horse drawn wagons or perhaps roller skates combined with little outfits with sails on the back. Basically, they are focused on anything and everything that makes it harder to get to and from work. I am convinced that this is because it makes the men in white coats' job much harder chasing them when they escape from the asylum.

Gotta give 'em props for that.

Anyway, I have my own proposal for something that will make traffic even worse in Austin.

Squirrel lanes.

Every day, I see dozens of squirrels in peril on our roadways, or, rest their little furry souls in peace, already dispatched to the oak tree in the sky.

I will vote for the city council candidate who will add squirrel lanes to all of our Austin roadways. In my mind, they would look like little Habitrails, and there would probably have to be about six of them on each side of the road, because we have a lot of squirrels. They need to be enclosed, because squirrels can't control their fits of crazy brain that make them dart out into the street. The city would need to make these go up over the intersections at every light, and so that would probably mean shutting down our busiest interchanges, which is in sync with their goal of complete gridlock at all times.

You're welcome, City Council. No need to give me credit. I'll be breathing carbon monoxide and sitting perfectly still on south Mopac if you need me.

Here's a little transportation themed ditty for the occasion...
This is the new The Open Sea set. I stamped the globe on Pacific Point Blue and used it for the moon. You don't know the earth isn't someone's moon - stop yelling at me! I stamped the ship's log image in Crumb Cake on Whisper White, rubbed the edges on my Crumb Cake ink pad and then sprayed the whole panel with Gold Glow Smooch Spritz. I stamped the ship in Basic Black on the Whisper White card base, and again on the log panel, and then just lined them up. The greeting is from Asian Artistry (retired).

I'm almost ready to show the results of my card catalog reorganization project! Whee! And in case you missed yesterday's blog post, I'm giving away a Big Shot die and some other goodies, so check it out!

I'm off to feed the squirrels and vote.



  1. What a wonderful mental picture your description of the squirrel lanes conjures up.
    We've just got a super-duper new bus lane - and even the bus-drivers don't know why it was considered necessary to have it for over two miles when only the last 200 yards have any effect at all on the speed of their journey. I guess planners are the same all the world over.
    Does it have to be a card we make for a friend :D.

  2. Oh Lydia, I LOVE your humor. You just brightened my morning sitting in a cold garage trying to sell my used junk! Why do I participate in garage sales? I like to say they are like childbirth. While you are doing it you say, "Never again." But after a year you forget how terrible it is!


    OMG ever your word verification needed to leave a comment is funny. The "word" given to me is "scropm" hmmmmm...

  3. Now I wanna make a squirrel card! Is there no end to the inspiration??? Maybe if you took a photo of yourself wearing a gas mask while seated behind the wheel of your car during a traffic jam and sent it to the Council they'd take a hint?

  4. Lydia, you are the the most delightful author! Thank you for sharing your talented writing on your blog!


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