Thursday, January 31, 2013

The Imbecility Vortex

There are some things that just do NOT cross cultural borders.

Like haggis, for example.

God bless those hairy, skirted men - but seriously - keep your nasty food to yourself and we'll get along great.

You could say the same about menudo. It would be interesting to see a menudo/haggis faceoff on Food Network. Wait - no it wouldn't, because they're both disgusting.

Anyway, one of the things which just never should have come to America is the traffic circle.

I understand that it works great in England. Awesome. Maybe because their brains are wired differently from driving on the wrong side of the road. Or perhaps it's all the delicious Earl Grey tea they consume. Or their awesome accents.

Whatever it is, it ain't working here.

We have one of these blessed (if you're from here, you know in Texas, that context is everything with this word) things in the shopping center where I have my stamping classes, and also, the shopping center that contains my beloved retail church - Whole Foods.

And it is a disaster of EPIC proportions.

There are three behaviors on display at all times.

One - people who have no clue what is happening and so since they don't see a stop sign they just go on in, blindly, killing people.

Two - people who know they're supposed to yield, but don't know for how long, get anxious and just freak out and dart into traffic regardless of what is happening in the circle.

Three - people who never go.

It makes me completely stabby every time I go there. I want to just film the chaos one day and become a YouTube millionaire.

But for the time being, I've just sketched out the traffic circle anarchy for you.
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Pray for me - my class is this Saturday.

That's one of the reasons I've started having Greenling deliver some of my groceries every week. I'm just trying to save the giraffe.

Here's the card I made for my Greenling delivery man this week.

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I have just discovered the joy of our little Print Poetry paper pads. They have a lot of our DSP designs shrunk down to 4.5" x 6.5" sheets - and I loved this ship's log pattern in blue, so I cut out the whale with the Happy Whale Clearlits Die and added a rhinestone for his eye. The waves are with the Oh Wave! wheel, and the ribbon is our denim ribbon which I love and hoard. The greeting is from the Oh Whale! set that matches the die.

I hope he knows how much I appreciate him saving me a trip into the imbecility vortex.



  1. So funny! One of these was recently constructed near our house and my DH and I talk about how so many people freak out about them. Thank you for the laugh.

    Love your card! The layered die cuts are so fun.

    Have a great day. At least you can get to Starbucks with out going through the dreaded traffic circle. :)

  2. I am giggling out loud here! When you're used to them, they really do work. I was in an accident at a 4-way stop in Boston, but I have never been in an accident on a roundabout. (OK, I confess, I have seen a couple, but it's rare!!). I was lucky to do my driving lessons in one of the few towns that had any roundabouts mumble mumble years ago, but a lot of people do NOT know how to indicate and in which lane to approach. As a driver I'm OK with them, as a pedestrian I HATE them because you never know what the cars are going to do and whether it's safe to cross or not.
    And you'll laugh at this - some of the roundabouts here are so busy that they put traffic signals on them anyway. Told you you'd laugh :D.
    I LOVE the look of your ship's log whale. Would you like it so much if it wasn't blue ;-), I probably would, but it wouldn't be so whaley.

  3. What a fun card Lydia!! I just ordered the Whale stuff and seeing your card makes me want to chase down Mr. Brown LOL! Also know what you mean about traffic circles. You're crackin' me up with your drawing and story, but you pretty much got it right!! Good Luck!

  4. I grew up in Ireland happily being driven around Round-a-Bouts (maybe you should name them correctly...THATS IT!!) until I left for Canada...where I learned to drive. My mum's memory still rings in my head and my hubby and I both instantly say as we enter any round-a-bout :"Indicate left" or "Indicate right" (depending on the maneuver and said in Mum's voice) in her memory. I guess she thought I had forgotten how to approach them LOL. Let's go to Ireland together!!

  5. Too funny, Lydia. But you forgot the idiots who drive 40 mph through them when the speed limit says 15!

  6. You made me snort wine out my nose, but that's okay. I have more. :-)

  7. The Blessed Traffic Circle is popping up EVERYWHERE in Rochester -- causing absolute havoc. When I was a kid, we had traffic circles - my mother was the "pray and go fast" type of driver. We all heaved a sigh of relief when the DOT started removing traffic circles and installed turning lanes. Now - life being a circle and all - the all-knowing Dept of Transportation decided they made a tragic mistake and are reinstalling the Traffic Circle. Thank God my mom is no longer driving...the giraffe would surely be road kill.

  8. Ha! Maryland has roundabout fever, too. One was so bad they made it into an oval (like that helped); three years and numerous collisions later they finally gave up and put in traffic lights. Meanwhile, traffic on surrounding streets has become worse because so many people are avoiding the remaining roundabouts! ... Love your card! Drive carefully.

  9. That was very funny! Traffic circles don't work in America because we are impatient, crazy and selfish drivers. Good luck with that!

  10. You are so funny. I look forward to your posts each week. Your calm and sane demeanor in your videos is in complete contrast to your posts.

    PS. I especially liked the random giraffe. Where did that come from?

  11. You are so funny. I look forward to your posts each week. Your calm and sane ;o) demeanor on your videos is in complete contrast to the craziness of your posts. Keep it coming!

    PS Where did the giraffe come from?! I suspect they are scarce in Texas.

  12. I share you thoughts regarding the blessed traffic circle. i lve in a farming community and in the infinite wisdom of CalTrans, they are wanting to put one in. Explain to me how a hay truck with a set of doubles is gonna make that?? Oh how I would love grocery delivery. :)

    Great card!


  13. I absolutely HATE roundabouts (traffic circles). When I worked at a personal injury law firm in Florida, we had a steady number of cases from accidents in the 1 roundabout there. I live in Minnesota and there are many in this state. And some crazy group decided that we needed 3 of these things within a quarter mile stretch of road -- and worse, it has been approved and construction is slated for the spring:

    1 on the city street within 3 car lengths of the entrance ramp to a major highway;
    1 also 3 car lengths of exiting the ramp for that same major highway onto that same road -- which has magically changed to a county road because the overpass crossing that highway became the dividing line; and

    1 two blocks farther on the county road -- this on being the avenue I have to take to get home.

    They are proposing another 6 blocks farther along the county road, but so far that has not been approved.

    BUT THE REALLY bad one is going to be the Diverging Diamond Interchange -- talk about a nightmare that will make the roundabouts look like a kindergarten playground. Check it out here:


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