Thursday, April 11, 2013

An Open Letter To Working Men

STOP
CLIPPING
YOUR
NAILS
AT
WORK

Thankfully, since I work from my home office now - praise the Lord - I don't have to deal with this boorishness anymore, but many of my friends still do. And it gives them homicidal fantasies.

Men - you have no idea how disgusting you are to women (and civilized men, in case you care) the second this happens. You are ensuring that you will die not only alone, but reviled in your aloneness, and with good cause. I'm pretty certain you'll also go to hell. Where you will also be alone, because you are too gross even for the general hell crowd.

At not just one, but TWO workplaces, I experienced men clipping not just their nails (insert extreme stabbiness here) but their TOENAILS.

Yes. Toenails.

I completely support the death penalty for this offense. No trial necessary. Just drag them out of their cubicles and kill them with their nail clippers.

I say this lovingly, of course, and as a public service announcement.

Apparently they lack an enzyme or a gene that prevents them from recognizing disgusting habits. They need our help. Right up until the second they pick up a clipper. At that point, all bets are off.

Speaking of workplace injustice - I ordered the new Bombs Away Birthday stamp set this week the second it came out because it CRACKS ME UP! If you've ever had to eat dozens of pieces of substandard cake at the endless stream of office birthday parties, you'll appreciate this greeting.






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 Hee hee... isn't that hilarious? I think we can all relate.

I just used the new washi tape from the This And That Bundle (you can buy the tape separately here) and the Adorning Accents embossing folder.

Here's the rest of the set, which is equally hilarious.
 

This is my sage - all my herbs are going nuts right now in this gorgeous spring weather.

I never noticed before today how much the sage flowers look like a teeninesy iris! Look closely!




My mint has finally made a roaring comeback after I replaced the dirt the squirrel removed.

Maybe I'll have enough for a julep by the time the Derby rolls around.

Loveyameanitaslongasyouneverclipyournailsnearmebye.


6 comments:

  1. So....um....gross!!! I have to say that I have never worked where a man clipped his nails...and TOE NAILS??? What? Were they raised in a barn? Does anyone use that saying? My mom always used to say that!

    BEAUTIFUL mini iris...Sage!

    Fun card. Fun sentiments!

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  2. Amen to the nail clipping! I'm right there with you. Yuck! Love the card too BTW. Someone needs to come up with a saying similar for hospital cafeteria food - double yuck.

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  3. That is a hilarious card, and such a gross image of those disgusting men...shudder.

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  4. Years ago I worked for a man that would clip his nails in his office ... but he left his door open so you always knew when he was doing it ... yuck! Then about 2 week ago my hairdresser was just finishing my hair when her next customer (a female no less!) pulled out her clippers and started cutting her nails and flipping them on the floor. Thought I was gonna throw up :( So unfortunately, it's not just men that don't have a clue. Love the card - that sentiment is fabulous.

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  5. Spring herbs!!! So jealous. Still winter here in the NE. Anywho I like the card and the stamp set. Don't want to think about the other. Yuck!!

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  6. Here here on the fingernails. They do it in my office too and it's DISGUSTING!

    Where was that stamp set when they offered free shipping last weekend? I'd have ordered it for sure!

    ReplyDelete

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