Monday, February 3, 2014

Letters And Numbers Are Different, You Stupid Romans!

I'm a little angry about two very important aspects of the Super Bowl. Actually, three aspects.

First of all, I realize there's nothing important about football or the Super Bowl, so there's that. I will never, ever, ever forgive the NFL or watch a game again over their decision to let that monster Michael Vick continue to 1) walk the earth and 2) be rewarded for being a monster and make an obscene amount of money in the National Felons League.

So I only have three connections to this event:
  • Dips
  • The National Anthem
  • Roman numerals
 We'll go in reverse order.

Roman numerals are stupid.

Why say XLVIII when you can say 12 - or whatever the heck XLVIII means in real life? See I don't even know what Super Bowl it was because I don't know what those letters mean. Thank God we don't number our presidents that way. Newsflash - letters and numbers are different, you stupid Romans. This is why we all like Greeks better. So there.

The National Anthem deserves respect and civility.

The only part of the game I watch is the National Anthem. Don't talk, laugh, hop around or mumble to yourself during the National Anthem (which is NOT America the Beautiful, by the way. Although, it should be, because it's beautiful.) Stand up straight, take your hat off, put your hand on your heart, face the flag and either shut up, sing or prepare to be deported by me when I get my deporting license, which I'm working on. 

Here's a tutorial in case you are as big a boor as that freak on the Seattle team who was doing all those things that I listed as prohibited. He will be deported immediately after Michael Vick. 

Finally, there's dip.

When a person goes to the store on the THURSDAY before the Super Bowl, they expect to be able to find Lay's Potato Chips to go with their once a year dip.

This person found no Lay's Potato Chips. It was like chip locusts or hordes of Irish people had torn through the store. The only thing left was Lay's Kettle Cooked chips. 

I'm just going to be honest here. If you reached into a bag of regular Lay's Potato Chips and pulled out and ate a kettle chip, you'd say "Dang it! These chips are stale!"

I'm not saying there's no place for kettle chips, I'm just saying they're not regular potato chips, and they're not good with onion dip, which I only have once a year. As I ate the chewy, thick, sub-standard chips with my dip, I thought about how stupid Roman numerals are.

I had my class on Saturday and it was the complete opposite of Roman numerals. It was fun and it made sense!

We played with the new fringe scissors, and I borrowed this ombre fringe idea from my talented friend Julia Stainton. I used Island Indigo, Bermuda Bay, Coastal Cabana and Whisper White cardstock - each layer is cut 1/2" shorter than the next. The stamp is from Countless Sayings 1. See how that's not a Roman numeral? IT'S A ONE. Just sayin'.

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Hope your Monday is free of kettle chips and Roman numerals!



  1. HAHA! I have to read Roman Numerals veeeery slowly, but I do know them, mostly. In case you care, XLVIII deconstructed:

    XL = "ten less than 50"
    VIII = 8

    So 58. You can cheat here:

    And you need to make your own chips next year. Or shop on Wednesday. :)

  2. I'm sorry, I had to jump in here cause I can't stop laughing. Sounds like a little bit of fuzzy math going on. XL is ten less than 50 making it 40 + 8 = 48. Okay, that out of the way, love the card in all it's ombreliciousness!

  3. thank you for all your wonderful thoughts in this post. what you failed to do is mention your thoughts about the fringe scissors for those of us sitting on the edge of our seats wondering if we should purchase them!

    the card looks fantastic, but i'm really curious about these paper grass makers and if they are as slick as they look.

  4. My Monday was free of those .. and free from football too. Ok, so wad Sunday! :D

    Love that cat standing up. My cat does the meercat impression all the time.

  5. I. Why ya gotta be hate'n on cats like that?
    II. The Romans were low-budget. They didn't get sets of numbers when they bought the letters. Kinda the opposite of Detroit.
    III. Kettle chips are just bad biz and had no commercials; therefore, they don't exist.

  6. Before I forget, LOVELY card. That ombre fringe is beautimus.

    Vick should have been banned for life - from life itself, not just football. Not cool, NFL. Not cool.

    I've tried time and again to like kettle chips, but it just isn't happenin'. I enjoy a good flavored chip on occasion along with a wavy chip here and there, in addition to the good ole classic chip. But those kettle chips? Just NO. Also, onion dip? Yum!

  7. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ....
    LOVE the National Anthem ..and can not STAND it when folks fail to honor the flag at that time.
    LUV the ombre fringe SO MUCH that I actually came here to look for it today! ('Cuz I "neeeeed" to do this!)

    just me


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