Thursday, October 18, 2012

How To Get a Divorce in 30 Seconds

So I'm on my walk not too long ago - not a geocaching walk - just my regular route.

At one point I cross over the entrance to a gated community of garden homes. There's the entrance, which I cross first, a small grassy median and then the exit.

As I approach this entrance on this particular day, right before my eyes, a lady on her bike just crashes and falls over in the entrance, which is the side closest to me. A jogger, a woman, in front of me, just keeps going while the lady is stuck under her bike, sort of struggling to get untangled and up again. Then, across the median, in the exit from the subdivision, a man in his car has his window rolled down and is yelling something. I assume, being a normal human being with empathy, that he is asking her if she's ok.

As I'm hurrying to get closer to this lady and see if she's okay, I can hear that is NOT, in fact, what this human was yelling at her. This person was her HUSBAND. And instead of getting out of his car when he sees his wife on the ground, pinned under her wrecked bike on a busy street, he is 15 feet away, in his car, asking her WHAT HE SHOULD TELL THE PAINTERS TO DO IN THEIR BATHROOM.

Still trying to get up, she's yelling a few instructions at him and telling him to just deal with it when I finally get close enough to ask her if she's okay or needs help. She gets the bike off herself and stands up and says she thinks she's okay. At this point, there's a car behind her idiot husband and he says "I'll be back in an hour" and drives off. Astounded, I look at her and say, "Would you like me to find you a divorce lawyer on my Iphone?"

Some people. I swear.

I hope she meets someone nice in her cycling group after it's all finalized.

Maybe she'll have a Merry Christmas :).

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I made this card for Giovana's Hope You Can Cling To challenge to use three punches or die cuts and a sentiment. I thought the little mini tree punch would go perfectly with the big snowflake die. 

The background paper is actually Howlstooth and Scaringbone Halloween DSP but it's perfect with this Christmasy layout!

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  1. Did she say, "YES! AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE!" I'm dying to know!!! What a nimrod.

  2. You have the oddest adventures and run-ins!!

  3. I'm a cyclist--this was absolutely hysterical! I have fallen over, while trying to get into my garage with my shoes clipped in my pedals. And one of my neighbors was walking her dog and saw me land squarely in a bush by my garage door. I was terribly embarrassed, but this poor woman's story takes the cake! Lovely card, BTW!

  4. Once again, you crack me up! So what did she have to say about her husband??

  5. This would be funny if I didnt feel so bad for this fwoman having such a lame-o hopefully soon-to-be-whacked-upside-his-head-with-a-cast-iron-skillet husband.

  6. So many people have gotten caught up in social media but have no regard for people. Kinda scary. I loved your question for the poor lady--made a tough situation a funny moment.

  7. Ohhhhh!! I hope my comment makes it to your blog. I can't believe this poor lady's husband. I hope she let him have it when she saw him at home. I've been on the receiving end of stupid motorist who yell all kind of obsenities at me while riding my bike. I train for Triathlons and believe me, I have encountered really ignorant drivers who think they own the streets. I hope she was ok, falling off our bikes is not funny and it hurts!!!!!

  8. oh my word, I had no idea you were so funny my dear. I do see I need to hop around your blog some more. Glad the woman was okay (and by the sounds of it glad her husband was on the other side of the gate or he mighta gottan wallopped).


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