I had so much fun catching up with all my stampy friends and seeing all the fantastic new things that everyone *NEEDS* right this very second.
But two weeks is a long, long time to be gone, and I was ready to come home when I got to the airport Sunday night. Midway airport, to be exact.
If you've never been through Midway, you can't know the special circle of hell that its security lines occupy. I have never been there when it wasn't a tangled, cranky sea of humanity in a knot of confusing and slow moving lines. Sunday was no different. It was a hot mess.
I finally get to the point where I'm waiting for my carryons to exit the conveyor when I see, with dread, that a TSA agent is walking towards me with one of my carryon bags.
It's a woman. She seemed nice enough, and it wasn't immediately apparent that she had clearly consumed a large quantity of a hallucinogenic mushrooms, had a head injury or arrived from another dimension shortly before asking me this:
I was dumbfounded. I hadn't eaten since the previous night and was completely exhausted, but I never expected a question about a seahorse. I was too shocked for my normal reaction, which would have been to fall down on the floor convulsed with hysterical laughter.
I just stared at her. I wanted to ask her "are seahorses prohibited? I mean, if I HAD a seahorse in my bag, would I be in some sort of trouble?" And since she said "any type of little seahorse" did that mean one type was more dangerous than another?
I didn't ask. I said "no, I do not have a little seahorse in my bag." She paws through my bag. She finds several things that apparently set off the seahorse alarm, like a bracelet and my car keys, and removed them to run them and my suitcase separately. She comes back. Some of my dies are now out of my suitcase and bouncing around on the conveyer belt.
She brings back the suitcase. She says there's still a problem. Something looks like a crown. Again, I'm not aware that seahorses or crowns are prohibited. Are seaMONKEYS also prohibited? A friend reminded me that they have crowns - could she have seen a seamonkey in my bag? If I missed my ONE OPPORTUNITY to see a real live seamonkey, the TSA is going to pay!!
She paws some more. She retrieves a border punch with a knowing look, puts it in a bowl and takes my suitcase away again. Thank God we are all safe from my border punch and my bracelet. She comes back and paws some more. She takes out my airport compliant ziploc bag full of makeup, leaves with my suitcase and the bag and comes back, calling over her shoulder for me to "keep an eye on my property" as she disappears around a corner with it. A guy next to me starts giggling. I thought about injuring him with my weaponized, royal seahorse, but resist. A person should reserve their deadly crowned seahorse for more perilous situations.
Stamps: Aquaria (retired), Happy Harmony (retired) Paper: Whisper White, Just Add Cake DSP, Pool Party Ink: Basic Black Accessories: Pool Party Marker, Lucky Limeade Marker, Dazzling Diamonds Glitter, Rhinestones
Yeah, there's a card for that.:)
Hey - don't forget - the $99 starter kit deal is only good through Sunday! Check it out in my sidebar.
And keep those seahorses at home where they belong. America is safer without them.