Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I May Carry a Purse, but I can Start an Oldsmobile With a Pen, Buddy!

So I go into a large home improvement store last week. I needed some of that little ball chain stuff with the closer thingies on it for a craft project. And yes, I said thingies. But I know what that stuff is and I know where to find it.

However, women get a different kind of help in home improvement stores than men do. It's all in the name of helpfulness, but it's definitely different. When a woman walks into a home improvement store, any available male employees give you the sort of sympathetic, pitying look a helpless creature with a purse deserves when surrounded by the smell of sawdust and big scary tools. You know the look I'm talking about.

Not that I mind help. But sometimes when I get that sort of bemused assistance I feel like saying - Lookie here. When I was 16 years old my car was a mint green 1968 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme. And it was nowhere near 1968. So every time I stopped at a stop sign, it died. This was super fun when you were all dressed up to go do something fun. I had to get out, pop the 3,000 pound hood (cars were made of metal in the old days, you little chickens), stick a ballpoint pen in the carburetor to let some air in, start it, wait till the flames shot out of the little flapper thing, close the hood, and drive to the next stop sign. Lather, rinse, repeat.

So just because I have a purse doesn't mean I don't know where to find gasket material or ball chain closey thingies. And I bet my craft room has more tools than you do, mister!


Since Barbara Billingsley died this week :(, I was thinking that maybe this is what we look like to the employees of said stores. And that's not a bad thing, by any means!! Who doesn't want to live like Mrs. Cleaver did??
Stamps: Hero Arts Sew Stylish, Ippity Dots for Sure
Paper: Basic Grey patterned paper, Pirouette Pink
Ink: Basic Black, Pirouette Pink
Accessories: Sticky Strip, May Arts Ribbon, SU Rhinestones, paper flower

This card was for Beate's Hope You Can Cling To Challenge, which was to make a card inspired by lingerie. I thought this girlie must have some spectacular lingerie on to look this good in her dress :)

RIP, Barbara Billingsley - you were a classy lady. I bet you never had to start your car with a pen!


  1. and now MR. C, too! sad day for Nick at Nite! I totally adore this little fluffy ribbon, not to mention the perfect turkey she has cooking in the over, while wearing some really daring unmentionables ;)

  2. at my house, the little ball and chain stuff with the closer thingie was called a snakey by my then-6-year-old. he played with it like it was a toy, so i know exactly what you're talking about!

    to the rest of this post, i say, "GIRL POWER!"

  3. Oh, Lydia, you are too funny! Yes, I know the look. Love the card.

  4. Little do those guys know! Thanks for letting me know that craft stores aren't the only places to find the ball chain thingys. I always suspected there was somewhere where they could be found in more abundance and cheaper! Have a great pen-in-the-carburetor day!

  5. P.S. Love the card. The Dots for Sure look like hearts against that background paper and she's just too darling!

  6. You are too damn funny!!!

  7. That's so funny! People just make assumptions. My oil burner is off of my kitchen and years ago used to break down alot. Because it's off of my kitchen I know what it sounds like when it's working properly and I know what it sounds like when it's going to break. It was sounding kind of sick so I called the oil company and spoke to a man (unavoidable mistake) and told him my oil burner was going to break down and could somebody come take a look at it. He said with are you crazy in his voice, what do you mean it doesn't sound right? I explained and he more or less said I didn't know what I was talking about and if it did break they would come. It stopped working and I called back but unfortunately Mr. I know everything and you know nothing didn't answer the phone. Isn't it odd how we, the smarter sex, have assumptions made just because we're women.

  8. soooo.... down in Texas, they have HELP at Home Depot stores? All i can ever see is asses and apronstrings at the far end of the aisle, as they run and hide....

  9. I love your story! I had a 1967 Ford Galaxy 500 in 1979 and I kept a wooden dowel in the car so that I could stick it in the carbureator to let air in every time it died! That trick has served me well over the years with older cars! And I thought I was the only one who knew that trick!!

  10. Hee Hee and LOL!!! I always love your stories. I didn't have to fix my car but I drove a 1967 toronado olds when I was in high school (in 79 and later). My dad kept it running nicely but hey it did have a 475 engine and I could whip the pants off any guy in town! I even raced a boy friend for his Nova all jacked up in the back and WON!!! But in collage I drove a honda civic which we dubbed the not so great pumpkin because of the orange color that I had to crawl under and grease the u joint once a week to keep it from shimmying!

    Love the card and I totally need some of these sassy stamps. Wish I looked like that but when I put that underwear on that allows me to look even half that great I can't breath!!!!

    love the ribbon!!! and YOU!

  11. Well this is just ALL SORTS of FAB. LOVE that measuring tape through the card, that AMAZING ruffled ribbon, and yes, a great tribute to the late Mrs Cleaver for sure. The rounded edges really soften this whole thing up- I LOVE IT!


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