Monday, March 9, 2020

Food Fraud Chronicles + A Major Sale

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My household has drawn a red line this week, after 51 years of trying.

51 years of trying to find a way that corn tortillas can not be dry, rubbery, flavorless garbage. We gave it our best. They are complete garbage unless they are deep fried. Do not test me. Never again will one cross these lips. I. Am. Done.

The final straw was reached after the HEIGHT of deception on the internet.

You know the kind of thing I'm talking about - the copycat recipe. We are not eating out because of this corona virus thing, so I'm trying to make fun things. Despite unfried corn tortillas being an evil scourge, tacos in general are quite good, and I'm a great cook, so I thought I'd improve upon the (in my opinion) disgusting Jack in the Box Tacos!

So I went in search of copycat recipes. The first one called for filling the corn tortillas and air frying them. Now mind you - air frying is not actually a thing, because to air fry something you still need oil but whatever. I'm no dummy so I just tried one.

Instantly upon folding the stupid corn tortilla it broke. I cooked it anyway. It was just dry and messy and stupid. Gross. Back to the internet. One liar said to soak the gross corn tortillas in water. I did this for 30 seconds as instructed, it broke, 30 minutes, it broke, one hour, it broke. I don't know what these people were photographing, but it was not air fried corn tortilla faux JITB tacos.

[OH - if you want a GREAT YouTube channel, this delightful British woman exposes these fake, clickbait "hack" type cooking and craft channels, with MUCH less cussing than was happening in my house this weekend. There's a reason she has 4 million subscribers.]

Anyway, I threw the digusting corn tortillas in the trash and went rogue, and I came up with a freaking fantastic meal.

HEB sells these tortillas that are half corn, half flour called Mixla. I can't eat their plain flour tortillas, because for some unknown reason, they put milk in them, which no authentic tortilla has had EVER, so these were a Godsend. I bought some of those, and here's what I did.

I took a pound of grass-fed ground beef and cooked it with onions and 2 TBS of my homemade taco seasoning. I put a few spoonfuls of that onto half of the Mixla, leaving at least a half inch border around the edge. In a tip I got from one of the liars, I put a small amount of refried beans (I just used Bush's refried beans, heated up with added salt and maybe 1/2 tsp. of chili powder, which is my normal doctoring of canned beans.) around the edge of that same half, and that acted as glue to hold the tacos together for pan frying! I just fried them quickly on both sides in a little avocado oil and they were light, crispy WONDERS!! The flour in the tortillas makes them light and flaky, and the corn makes them crispy and taste taco-y - they were so freaking yummy!! I served them with some homemade guac and a sense of victory over recipe liars, corn tortillas, the myth of air frying (baking with oil) and fast food. They were so good I'm making them again tomorrow. Photo of the real deal below.

So to celebrate pushing through to a food victory, I have a taco card for you today! It's to celebrate the GINORMOUS sale happening at Concord & 9th! They are getting ready to bring in their ink and paper line, so they're having an inventory blowout sale right here - you can get 20%-70% off while supplies last, so pop over and grab some steals after you see my card!

I used the stunning Herringbone Background Stamp with Aussie Red Gold and Imperial Purple.

I painted three rows in singles, then a double, then three singles, then a double and so on. Very relaxing painting session for Kathy's 30 Day Coloring Challenge. Then I just stamped  the taco from Special Delivery, colored it with Copics, cut it with the matching dies, used part of circle cut with my circle infinity dies and stamped the sentiment from the set on a little strip to anchor it all but still let the background enjoy the spotlight. In addition to rejecting corn tortillas, I also reject the "rule" that complementary colors make mud when treated with care.


Special Delivery Stamps
[ C&9 ]
Special Delivery Dies
[ C&9 ]
Herringbone Background
[ C&9 ]
Circle Infinity Dies (H)
[ HA ]
Art Anthology BIG CRAFT MAT 24x36 311473
[ SSS ]
Aussie Red Gold Daniel Smith Watercolor
[ BLIC ]
Imperial Purple Daniel Smith Extra...
[ BLIC ]
Heavy Base Weight Card Stock- White
[ GNK ]
MISTI Stamping Tool
[ MSP | HA | SSS | ELH | MFT | UNT ]
Rotatrim Professional Series Cutter -...
[ BLIC ]
LightView 2in1 LED Magnifier for...
[ BRG ]
Xyron ADHESIVE ERASER 23675
[ SSS | ART | AMZUS ]
Teflon Bone Folder - Ellen Hutson LLC
[ ELH | SSS ]
Crafter's Companion GEMINI...
[ SSS ]
Scor-Pal MINI SCOR-BUDDY Scoring...
[ SSS ]
Essentials by Ellen Storage...
[ ELH ]
Die Storage - Clear Storage Pockets...
[ CHC ]
XL Stamp Storage Pockets
[ ELH ]
Mermaid tidy towel case and glue...
[ ETS ]
Lawn Fawn STAMP SHAMMY Cleaner LF1045
[ SSS | CST ]
Airtable: Organize your stamps & dies
[ ART ]


Wanna see the real tacos not from some fake recipe that doesn't work? Wish granted! They disappeared fast!


I hope you survive this week with the time change, the full moon, Friday the 13th and the Ides of March on the horizon! :) Remember to wash your hands, don't hoard toilet paper and stay away from crowds!

Loveyameanitbye.


CURRENT COUPON CODES
15% off the Art Toolkit at Expeditionary Art through March 31 - WCSPLIT.
15% off anything at Marker Universe or any of their other sites - Understandblue15.
10% off the whole store at A Colorful Life Designs - LydiaFan10
 Arkon stand link below!

6 comments:

  1. This was the final straw. I’m moving in. I’ll be driving there, of course. Get the tattered guest towels out. 😁

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  2. Great post and a fab card, Jo x

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  3. YES! We've been buying the Mixla tortillas ever since I saw them a couple months ago. When you fry them up in a skillet or on a griddle, they are awesome! They are not dry nor rubbery nor do they have that weird aftertaste that I get from the flour tortillas. YES to the Mixla!!!! And btw - love your cute card!

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  4. Oh, I am so hungry for tacos now!! The ones pictured above that is! Yum! Your card is fabulous. The color combo is so striking!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Of course I can't get them here (sob)and no sopapillas either , they sound delicious!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Your tacos look delicious. Jack is envious.

    ReplyDelete

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