Sunday, October 6, 2013

Panther Fit!

I'm writing a new book that I hope you'll all buy. It's called Panther Fit, and it's an easy weight loss and strength building program that everyone can do without changing one thing about their diet.

It's after countless hours of research that I can bring you this amazing regimen. I actually can't believe that I'm the first person to market this groundbreaking program.

I can't reveal ALL of the elements of the regimen, but I can give you the high points and there's no way we all can't fit this into our lives.

To get the sleek, toned body of a panther (not a cougar, because that's gross) - here's all you need to do:

  • Sleep 16 hours per day
  • Run around the house twice per day at TOP SPEED, preferably knocking things off surfaces as you do so. Parkour during the circuit is completely optional.
  • Do exactly FOUR extreme cat stretches - these should be done during your sleeping period, and should be followed by spinning around but ending up in the exact same position you were in before you stretched. 
  • Spend one hour per day eating. This can be broken into multiple eating sessions during the time you're awake. 
  • Spend at least 45 minutes crying each day. Preferably at 4 AM
  • Spend no less than half an hour of your awake time batting small, preferably breakable or liquid filled objects off surfaces in your home. 
  • Spend no less than ten minutes staring at things no one else can see.
  • Bathe ten times during waking hours.
You are going to be AMAZED at how you look after this regimen.

Toned muscles. Shiny hair. 1% body fat. People who don't even know you will stop you and pat you from head to tail.

You can thank me later.

Here's a composite of what you're going to look like when you've done this for several weeks. 

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I made this card from October's My Paper Pumpkin kit, and I added the little cat from Bite Me, as well as some Witches' Brew Washi Tape.

I used the Washi Tape actually to cover up the green accents on the bottom of that cute little index card die cut from the kit. The reason I did this was because today's Challenge Chicks challenge is to make a Halloween card with no orange, green or purple on it - harder than you think! It's also my sample for Kathy's Hope You Can Cling To challenge. Don't forget to come play with us - we have more than $5,000 in prizes to give away! :)

I can't wait to see all your before and after pictures after you buy my awesome Panther Fit program.



  1. Awesome card, Lydia!!! What a fun Halloween design, and layout!!

  2. You lost me at "running at top speed". Love the card, though! Great save with the washi tape!

  3. Ha ha! Do you have 'before' and 'after' panther fit pictures?? You'll need them for the book!

    Great to see the example sleek cat on your cute card though :)

  4. Love the fun arrows and the scaredy cat! totally had me going there. I was like...Lydia can make such great cards AND she is an author? Of exercise programs no less?! I prefer the Black Lab regimen...countersurf for all of the good stuff like loaves of bread, leftover pizza, and doughnuts. Nose open the box if you can't quite reach them, persistence will pay off. Then run around the perimeter of your lawn barking at neighbors and joggers. Only as far as invisible fence will allow. Come inside and sleep on furniture until you are busted. Then find different furniture in another room. Repeat as needed!


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