Sunday, September 1, 2013

The Local Witch Doctor Show

So we are driving home from my parents' house yesterday and we just happened to be in the car during the local witch doctor radio talk show.

Yes, witch doctor.

Well, they don't MARKET it as a witch doctor show, because people probably wouldn't listen. They market it as sort of a hippy dippy homeopathy show, which is much more acceptable.

But, the real witch doctor show is actually very dangerous, because it could lead to you laughing so hard while driving 70 MPH that you veer into a guardrail and die.

Like yesterday. Well, I didn't veer into a guardrail and die, but I was laughing hard enough to.

So we catch the tail end of the "guest" for the show, who said that the reason people are unhealthy now is because they wear shoes. Specifically because the shoes keep their feet from touching the earth. Because your feet touching dirt can cure cancer and paralysis.

Go ahead. Laugh. I'll wait.

You done? He actually gave an example of a boy who couldn't walk due to some unknown affliction, and after they took his shoes off and let his feet get dirty, he could run and frolic like a little baby muskox. Which, by the way, is the cutest animal in the world. Look at him. He's touching the earth, and he's insanely cute. The only conclusion we can draw here is that letting your feet touch the earth turns you into an adorable baby muskox.

I told you how cute he was. Don't get mad at me if you want one now.


Anyway, it will surprise you to NO END to learn that this shyster was selling a product right? What might that product be?

No less than the miraculous healing Earthing Mat!! It gives you free electrons! (I've never paid for electrons before, I don't know about you.) It conducts the earth's energy!

Now I have to just observe that it's very odd that these witch doctors think that being in contact with the earth is healing, and that they're selling something to put between you and the earth. To make the earth even BETTER. Through cash.

Through cash, all things are possible.

Check out this incredibly professional video with the baby squeaking the whole time if you don't believe in the healing power of the earthing mat.

Wait - don't believe this guy? Check out these adorable cartoon people and pets reclaiming their lives by earthing!!

Here's an idea.

Go outside. You can't hear the radio out there!

Actually these and the crazy late night radio shows are my favorites. I love hearing all the nutballs come out and practice their own awesome version of capitalism.

Speaking of capitalism, would you spend $995 on a retired stamp set? You're in luck! There's one for sale here! A lot of people think this is crazy, but I think it's brilliant! She's brought a ton of people to her Ebay store over this controversial listing and probably made a killing! Also, what if it sells? Bravo, lady. Bravo.

I had my frosted watercolor class yesterday, and we had tons of fun. I love this technique, which I first saw from Sandi McIver.

This is one of the cards we made.

Pin It
I couldn't figure out why everyone kept asking me why the bird was backwards.

I guess people wanted the bird to be facing away from that giant egg.

But I told them, that if you were that size bird and had popped out an egg that big, you'd be staring it down too. And plotting revenge.

Anyway, the stamps are Backyard Basics, with matching framelits, Dictionary, Regarding Dahlias. The ink is Baked Brown Sugar, and we used Coastal Cabana and Whisper White reinkers. My BELOVED frosted finishes charms were the star of the show for sure.

I bet if that bird had been earthing, she wouldn't have had such a ridiculously large egg baby. Just sayin'.



  1. I have a radio I can hear outside...

  2. 1...witch doctors are insane
    2...nutjobs are insane (duh)
    3...please don't veer into a guardrail and die!
    4...going barefoot has only ever brought me immense amounts of pain...oh and dirty feet.
    5...CUTENESS alert!!! (the baby muskox if you weren't sure)
    6...Ooooo I love the frosted watercolor look and must try that!
    7...that bird is NOT backwards
    8...James says "thanks a lot" cuz now I want a baby muskox!

  3. Talk shows and call-in shows make me stabby, and watching even part of that video made me stabby. That guy's voice is my ear worm, and now I need ear bleach, thankyouverymuch.

    And yeah, go outside. I love nature. My gosh, people will buy anything.

    PS: Your SQUIRREL actually got me back on track. :)

  4. I wonder how many people buy that!! And I mean all of it. The bird is fine and love you card!

  5. Oh My.. What an incredibly boring poorly made video. The weirdest thing is that I watched the whole thing thinking it would get better... I think I'll have to flush out my brain somehow about this. AGH!!!!!1
    Funny tho Lydia!

  6. thank you for the laughs today!! killing me :)
    & my new favorite animal is the super-cutie baby muskox ;)


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