Sunday, May 5, 2013

The Tyranny of Handwashing

I have nostalgia for the old Food Network.

You remember - the one with Good Eats and Iron Chef and Julia and Jacques (best show ever) and the Two Fat Ladies and other actual cooking shows.

On the old Food Network, there was no crying.

Now it's hard to get through a show without someone fake crying over their overly dramatic childhood and how that impacts their culinary point of view.

Gag me with a spoon, as we used to say.

Also, I'm tired of the handwashing PSA. No one handles raw bacon and then puts Orajel on their baby's sore gums, so enough with the obligatory artistic closeup shots of chefs washing their hands. We get it. People who died from trichinosis from being morons in the kitchen aren't watching your shows, people! It's your momma's job to teach you to wash your hands, not Giada's.

And the stupid product placements where the contestants on some chef show are required to use Skittles in their beef bourguignon. Please. Seriously.

So without crying, washing my hands in slow motion or doing any sort of commercial presentation of a disgusting paid ingredient, here's a recipe for you that I made the other night - it's delicious. I adapted it from about four recipes I googled. None of them were quite right.

Cauliflower Mac & Cheese

1 large head cauliflower cut into small florets
2 Tbs. butter or margarine
3 Tbs. all-purpose flour
1.5 cups half & half
2 C grated extra-sharp Cheddar cheese
1 C grated gruyere
1 pinch cayenne pepper
1.5 tsp salt
2 egg yolks
Panko breadcrumbs
Crumbled bacon

Preheat oven to 350°F. Bring large pot of salted water to a boil. Add cauliflower florets, and boil 5 to 7 minutes, or until just tender. Drain, and set aside. Make a roux from the butter and flour - melt the butter and whisk in the flour. Slowly whisk in half and half until smooth and thick. Remove from heat and add cheese until melted. Add egg yolks. Fold in cauliflower.

Butter a baking dish. Spread cauliflower mixture in baking dish, and sprinkle with a little more cheese and a few Panko breadcrumbs. Bake until warm and bubbly like me :) - I think I baked mine about 45 minutes to an hour - but I'm sure half an hour would be fine.

Today is the Challenge Chicks color challenge and it's a BEAUTY. I designed one of yesterday's class projects around it with the (insert sobbing here) retiring Word Play set and Papillon Potpourri and matching punch.

We just sponged Daffodil Delight and Tangerine Tango ink after masking the card with masking tape, and then sponged a butterfly with Bermuda Bay. Hard to see here, but we added Dazzling Details to the center of the butterfly.

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Now go take on the day.

And don't forget to wash your hands.



  1. You had me ROFLMAO this am reading my blog feed! Thanks!!! I so agree and long for the OLD Food Network and Sunday mornings spent with Nigella and Emeril...not to mention the good OL' Days of the Home & garden channel - can they please give us back real shows, I so miss design on a dime. I don't really care where various indecisive buyers get a home, nor what they paid for it. I want to see the junk picked up on the side of the road and reborn into something FABULOUS! Imagine that :)

    P.S. your simple card is LOVELY, also!

  2. I agree, Lydia! Since when is a cooking show a competition? I want to see real food being prepared. I don't want to see people being mean, cooking weird stuff, running around like crazy wack-a-doos. Really - do we have to have judges for everything??

  3. I wash my hands after cooking all the time. Especially after preparing Aspic. It is imperative not to get small bits of apsic everywhere as it can be annoying to the olfactory glands...... i do LOVE your card!!!!



  4. Brought back great memories of me and my daughter one summer BGood Eats one right after another. Loved it so much and Alton Brown, that I bought the books and the year shows for Christmas for her... Alton is a Hoot!!

    I too, miss the Real Food and Gardening shows... these make believe realaity shows are too much too take...

    and Back to Stamping...
    Your Card is Beautiful...


  5. I love the card! So pretty and wow!!!!!!

    I hate the food chanel now! I agree with all that you said and I would add something to it if you had not already summed it up perfectly! I want to learn how to cook not be judged on how I cook. Thanks for the recipe. This will be great and I can even make it gluten free for my son's neice. You are the best!

  6. Yay! Thanks for the recipe. I loved the card when I first saw it yesterday, and today it is even prettier somehow.

  7. I don't have cable, so I can't watch the Food Network. I do watch the PBS Create channel though, and they show Jacques and Julia! I love how opinionated Julia is, and Jacques just smiles when he disagrees with her!

  8. I miss the Two Fat Ladies and their stripey bacon. And yeah, reality cooking shows were the last straw that made me cancel cable and sell my TV. I loved the black vs white pepper discussions where Julia and Jacques agreed to disagree. :)

  9. Hubby left me in charge of the child for a week, so you'll save me with this recipe. :)

  10. K, Lydia, I didn't make the recipe cause I realized there's no "mac" in this mac & cheese. Man (or child) can't live on cauliflower alone. I have to take issue with the title of the recipe called mac when there's no mac. :)


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