Monday, December 17, 2012

I Just Invented the Austin Shower Head

I've spent my Sunday inventing something.

Well, really, sneezing. Which caused me to invent something. I call it the Austin Shower Head.

This shower head is very much like a regular shower head, with the exception of a slot between the water source and the little holes the water comes out of.

This slot is designed to fit specially designed self vaporizing tablets in the following varieties: Vicks Vapo-Rub, Benadryl, Visine AC, and Cort-Aid.

Let's say you're just congested and haven't been sneezing for twelve hours. Pop in the Vicks tab and shower yourself with sinus-clearing menthol vapors.

Been sneezing for 48 hours straight and can't see or speak? Pop in the Benadryl tablet and inhale the delightful antihistamine fumes right into your inflamed lungs and nasal passages.

Just encountered a furry dog? Add a Visine tab AND a Cort-Aid tab and feel soothed from head to toe.

As one of the countless victims of Austin's wet and dry mold colonies and cedar plague, I feel I have a duty to my fellow sufferers to try to make God's country a better place.

I can see other applications as well - maybe a champagne tablet for just a fine misting of bubbly before brunch. An espresso tablet for when morning coffee just can't come fast enough. Maybe an Advil mist for after those grueling workouts.

Or how about a few just for men - a wide variety of deer pee tablets or whatever they need for hunting. I tend not to pay too much attention to things like this, but I'll hire a man to figure that out. Deer pee is probably close enough. I don't think men read my blog, so I bet deer pee is fine in theory.

It's important that we continue to make technological advances in America and remain the home of innovation.

And it's also important to stop sneezing. For the entire month of December. Seriously.

Now that I'm a potential billionaire, I'd like to share the card that will accompany my Forbes cover story.

Pin It

Stamps: Feel Goods (sneak peek - let me know if you need a catalog) Ink: Crumb Cake 
Paper: Whisper White, Real Red C'oredinations, Newsprint, Crumb Cake Accessories: Label Framelits, Linen Thread, Time for Tea Trinkets, 
Honeycomb Embossing Folder, Refillable Sanding Block, Real Red Marker

Seriously - how perfect is that?? I LOVE THAT STAMP! Nearly everything on this card is a sneak peek from the Spring Mini, which will make you SQUEE!

Provided you're not sneezing, that is.



  1. I know I say this time and again, but I love your card. That sentiment is awesome. We will see that over and over next year at HYCCT, I'm sure.
    The Austin shower head would definitely have applications in Rochester NY... good thinking!

  2. Cedar Fever strikes again, and you have that park nearby, I have a greenbelt, both guilty of harbouring those dratted cedar(actually juniper) trees, bushes . and they are turning that horrid yellowish which means, ACHOOOOOOOOOO! drip.

  3. You are always so clever! Even when your head is full of mucus. XD.
    Thanks for the sneaks! That embossing folder is going right on my list!

  4. I would absolutely buy one of these, assuming it wasn't outrageously overpriced, and use it all the time. Along with medicinal applications, aromatherapy tablets would be awesome too!

  5. I would be willing to test market your idea in Michigan - especially as I not only have allergies, but I have a bad cold at the moment and I think this would be a great thing for it. Just send one to me and I'll let you know how it works. Sniff, sniff, sniff...

  6. ROFLOL! You must think up a shower head for an Alaskan man... something like a shower head that sprays on a wearable Carhartt because that's all they wear... all the time... never take it off to clean it... ever!

    In Alaska you'd have to make it moose or bear or salmon pee tablets! Just the right aroma for those trips they love so dearly!

    You are too funny! I ALWAYS look forward to your email!

    Oh and that card is the bomb!

    Kris in Alaska
    funamom at yahoo dot com

  7. LOVE your invention!! :) I totally need one! I'm allergic to dogs, but I own two dogs! Your invention would save me money on allergy shots! :) LOL

    Lovely card too, by the way. :)


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