Feline Chaos At The Door To Narnia

I'm sure life with dogs is interesting and whatnot, but I'm fairly certain that it is not as exciting and terrifying as life with cats can be.

Yesterday - I was sitting in my office, working, and my husband was getting ready to get some gloves out of our linen closet so that he could go paint a shelving system he's building for our laundry room.

(By the way, this type of shelf is fascinating - if you like this sort of thing - go look up French cleats sometime.)

Right outside my door is a cat lounging station - a four slot black Expedit on legs that I bought from my friend Lani. On top, there's a little black cat mattress that my sister made. Not a mattress for a black cat, even though it IS for a black cat, but a little black mattress for a cat. You know what I mean.

Since this unit is almost four feet tall, Maddie loves ruling the world from up there and can be found on it frequently.

However, because of the proximity to the linen closet, it is also the center of one of her many terrorist operations. Every time you open that door she shoots onto your back at about 60 miles per hour, with a claw assist. When Maddie hits you, even though she only weighs 6 pounds, it's with the force of a cannonball, and you frequently have no warning, so you have to have your wits about you. It's as if she knows that her petite weight must be made up for in velocity - sort of like a ballistics expert. Hmm - that's another indication of why we should fear them. Splotchy makes a little trilling warning sound right before he jumps onto your shoulder - like the sound the raptors make in Jurassic Park - and he also doesn't hit you with the same velocity - so it's much less alarming and painful. Please refer to my article on feline echolocation for more information on Splotchy's technique.

Well before getting the gloves, he apparently also set a cup of water on the cat lounging station, which was the trigger for an event which would plunge our house into complete chaos for two hours.

I drew it out on a Post-It note for you.

So all I hear is the door opening, and then a HUGE crash, some cuss words, another crash, hissing and the sound of cat claws slipping and sliding on the tile as they try to get away.

Out of the corner of my eye, because my chair faces the door of my office, I see two huge fluffy tails shooting out of eyeshot.

I yell WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?

He tells me he set the water down on the cat lounging station, and when he went to open the closet door (we are positive they think it's the door to Narnia), both cats snuck up on him - Splotchy to the left of the open door. Maddie makes her move - trying a compound jump - first to the cat lounging station and then onto his shoulder, but in mid-air, she sees the cup of water - too late. She slams into the water, scaring the living pee out of herself, and the cup flies through the air, raining down its contents on the completely innocent and now confused and terrified Splotchy - who hisses and tries to get away, completely soaking wet. Maddie, who is not very good at understanding the consequences of her actions, is also terrified and confused, and so she freaks out and runs away, with a serious case of the big tail.

Every time we try to approach either of them to calm them down, they completely lose their little furry minds and hide - EVEN THOUGH WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! THIS WAS A COMPLETE CAT-GENERATED SITUATION.

This lasts for two hours, with poor wet Splotchy shooting underneath furniture every time he hears a sound or sees anything move, and Maddie acting all indignant that the floor is wet.

Never a dull moment, I swear.

I made this card for Dina's Hope You Can Cling To challenge which is a GORGEOUS orange inspiration board from Pinterest.

The tree is from Among the Branches, and I inked it up and then wiped some of the ink off in places, to give the illusion of leaves in front of the branches. The rest is Brusho.

Built for Free Using: My Stampin Blog

Yes, good things are going to happen.

But if you have cats, some really surprising and terrifying and hilarious things are going to happen.

When you least expect them.

Loveyameanitbye.

PS - did I mention Ronda Wade is a guest presenter at my retreat? Because she is. You'd better sign up now. :)