Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Please Fix the World, Love, Me

There are some things that need to be fixed. I'm not talking about big things. I'm talking about things that should be completely under our control as humans, and yet, they are broken.

Let's start with something I never use. (This is how you know I'm totally sincere in my wish for a fix.)

Ironing boards. See? I told you I don't use it. But LOOK. Do ironing boards HAVE to screech like a thousand dementors when you open and close them? As a person that never uses them, I'm particularly offended and victimized by this sound. Is bare metal on metal the best America has to offer the ironing public?

Grocery carts. I do use these. I really like the teeny ones. However, I wish they had a hook under the handle I could hang my purse from. They're so small and perfect for my groceries, but when I have to put my purse in there, there's not enough room. A little hook would be so easy.

I will solve more of the world's problems later this week, but now we better have a little art. If your ears have been screeched off by an ironing board, this is candy for your eyes.

I did this card for a Virtual Stamp Night challenge called Muddy Water - the challenge was to use browns. I was working with a dye ink stack for the Splitcoast Inkadinkado Product Focus at the time, so I played with the earth tones. First, I stamped the little fawn in rust. Then I smooshed the dark brown ink onto my acrylic block for a palette and used my blender pen to add shadows to the little fawn. I also just used the blender pen on the image to soften it a bit, since fawns are soft. :) I highlighted his little spots with a white gel pen when I was done.
Stamps: Inkadinkado Paper: Stampin' Up! Presto Patterns, Early Espresso & Very Vanilla
Ink: Inkadinkado Earthtones dye stack Accessories: Tim Holtz Sizzix die, SU! taffeta ribbon

Now - funny story on the background.

So I love this Presto Patterns paper. It's beautiful, especially when you combine ink and Smooch Spritz, which I did here.

However.

I take out a piece of the paper for this card, cut it up and start rubbing brown ink into it.

At which point the words "Mole" and "Harelip" appear - presto! I'm not kidding. Now I don't know what this paper says, but I knew I did not want that on my card! So I flipped it sideways and decided to use the text as a vertical pattern. I once sent a friend a card with a dictionary page on it that I did not notice was covering the topic of poop quite nicely. So I'm a little warier now. :)

Hope you have a great Wednesday!

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7 comments:

  1. Screech like Dementors! HAHAHAHAHA! And they ALL DO THAT! So if you don't iron, then how do you know these things, hmmmmmm?

    Grocery carts. We have been advised to never let our purses leave our persons because of unscrupulous shoppers who might want to STEAL your purse. Not that it's ever happened. Kindof like that lower hook on bathroom stall doors. So following that line of thinking, I suppose we are not expected to actually PUT our purses into (or onto) our baskarts. Just sayin'.

    Now that I've shot holes completely through all of your observations, I need to tell you that I LOVE that fawn! I DO! I particularly like that you had the patience to color him, where I would not.

    That is all.

    WV: ejelie
    A crash was heard in the PB&J aisle of the grocery, followed by a loud exclamation of: "EJELIE!"

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  2. Snarf!
    So true, these observations of yours! My cats run for the hills whenever I unfold the ironing board! And yes, a hook would be genius. Maybe those crazy-overpriced purse hook thingies would work in the meantime.

    And the fawn is adorable. But harelip? Really? maybe no one at SU proofed the presto. too funny.

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  3. I found those sentiments after I completed the card for a wedding shower!! Ha!! It was a hard decision, but in the end I felt the piece needed a bit of distressing and tore them off the edge. What can that possibly say to need mole & hairlip in such pretty script?!

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  4. When I saw this card on VSN I instantly fell in love. So beautiful! (Aside from the mole, harelip & all.)

    Still haven't opened my pack of Presto Patterns yet & now, frankly, I'm eskeerd to. =:O

    Okay, off to put WD-40 on the ironing board. ;) Yeah, who am I kidding? I don't iron. :D

    ReplyDelete
  5. I KNEW WE WERE SEPARATED AT BIRTH!!! I don't use my ironing board either!!! Well, I take that back...mine is a perfectly good clothes hanger/holder right now.

    I was JUST laughing about your card the other day--came across the "poop-card" as I was cleaning my area...it's beautiful, but I do giggle and think of poop whenever I look at it. :D BEST CARD RECEIVED EVAH!!!!
    XOXO
    Dana

    WV: embub
    I got nothin' to embub you with. Trust me.

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  6. Lydia, I had to chuckle about the ironing board. I don't EVER iron, and (true story here), my oldest daughter (now age 30) went to preschool and everyone thought it was HILARIOUS that she had NO idea what the pretend iron and ironing board were! For Daughters #2 and #3, I got out the ironing board and iron and showed them what it was for - I told them that some people like their clothes "very flat". I put it away and that was that!

    Nowadays, we have a house with a basement and the ironing board stays up, next to the dryer. I've ironed a couple of times in the 25 years we've lived here. So I don't ever take it down, so I can't relate about the noise. I'll take your word for it though! We use the board for such things as putting laundry baskets on, dirty clothes that didn't fit in that load of wash, and oh, an important role for the ironing board is to hold the box of dryer sheets! Thanks for the walk down memory lane!

    Hugs,
    Susan, aka Soozie4Him on SCS

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  7. You are right - ours screeches too - and a grils got to have somewhere to hang her purse! Can't wait to see what else you solve. :0

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