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Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Introducing the SDI System. You are Welcome.

Y'all know already how I feel about people who pollute iced tea. If you don't, you can read about it here, which I recommend before reading the rest of this post.

When one lives in a hazardous environment, such as mine  - filled with rattlesnakes, scorpions and polluted tea, one must develop defense mechanisms.

For the snakes - good boots and pattern-spotting skills. (These both also help protect you against serial killers.) For the scorpions, again, good boots and good blood-curdling scream (unless your roommate is my friend Melanie, who will just sleep right through it.)

For polluted tea, there's only one defense available to you. The quick-draw straw.

The straw works on a pay it forward system, so to initiate your SDI - Straw Defense Initiative - you must bring the inaugural straw from home. This straw must be unwrapped and in your paw when you pull up to the window.

The protocol in a normal place is to hand you your drink while they take your payment. This is when you must kick off the omega sequence of the SDI.

Plunge the straw quickly into the perhaps polluted tea. Take a lightning fast sip where only a nanoliter of the potentially dangerous liquid touches just one SINGLE TASTEBUD. This is enough information to signal your brain to either fling the polluted sludge back through the window and ready a second straw for the replacement, or to breathe and slide the icy goodness into your cup holder.

Now let's say your tea is unblemished, as God intended it to be. The straw that they handed to you now goes into your chicken box (console thingy) for your next outing. This will be the straw you unwrap while you talk into the clown's mouth so you're ready for SDI at the window the next time you're out and about. It's now an eternally ready, armed SDI system.

You're welcome. Unless you drink polluted tea - if so, just bless your little pea-pickin' heart. You're in my prayers. I made this card for you.
Hero Arts Prayers Card by Understand Blue
CG736 Flowers for Coloring Bold...
[ HA ]
CM260 Hero Florals Rose Stem | Hero Arts
[ HA ]
Prayers - Stamp and Die bundle
[ HA | SSS ]
Hero Arts Intense Black Ink
[ HA | SSS | ELH ]
PS640 Pool Mix Layering Papers (12) |...
[ HA ]
Hero Arts CLASSIC VELLUM LAYERING...
[ SSS ]
Artist's Choice 110lb White Card Stock
[ GNK ]
Basic Black 8-1/2" X 11" Cardstock by...
[ SUP ]
Plus VELLUM ADHESIVE Double Sided...
[ SSS | MFT ]
Plus REFILL Vellum Adhesive Double...
[ SSS | MFT ]
Copic Sketch Marker BG15 AQUA Blue
[ SSS | ELH | ART | MFT ]
Copic Sketch MARKER C5 COOL GRAY Grey
[ SSS | ART ]
Copic Sketch MARKER C7 COOL GRAY Grey
[ SSS | ART ]
MISTI Stamping Tool
[ MSW | HA | SSS | ELH | SBC | MFT ]
Absorber - Synthetic Cleaning Cloth
[ AMZUS ]
Rotatrim Professional Series Cutter -...
[ BLIC ]
Mudder 10 Pack White Buffer Sanding...
[ AMZUS ]
Xyron ADHESIVE ERASER 23675
[ SSS | ART | AMZUS ]
Bone Folder by Stampin' Up!
[ SUP ]
Multipurpose Liquid Glue by Stampin' Up!
[ SUP ]
Sizzix BIG SHOT EXPRESS Gray and...
[ SSS | CST | BMS | ART ]

This was a super fun card to make. First I stamped the Bold Prints background stamp in Intense Black and colored just the background with my BG15 marker.

Then I stamped and cut out the rose image and traced around it with a C5 marker, leaving about 1/4" between the border and the flower, and filled that in. Then I glued the flower down, and used a C7 marker to create a darker shadow closer to the flower.

I used this truly invisible vellum adhesive to add a strip of vellum with sparkles in it from an old Hero Arts kit, and adhered the Prayers die cut over that.

The card base is the Aegean layering paper from the Pool Mix package.

So go forth into the world with your new SDI knowledge today, and do something nice for someone.

Loveyameanitbye.

4 comments:

  1. This is perfect in every. single. way. I'm getting my straw ready for UNSWEET tea and my beloved caramel macchiato with only two pumps of syrup. If there's more, I will know and that drink will go back through the window. :)

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  2. Omg you made me laugh. Couldn’t agree more but I could nit state it as well as you have

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  3. I love your cards and your art. I also love your stories. I use the SDI (didn’t know it had a name!) here in southwestern Pennsylvania. Sweet tea has become a “thing” here. Ughgag-gag-gag!

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL! You are totally hilarious! So agree too! Polluted iced tea is DISGUSTING! Hahaha!! Love your card too! It's always a good day when you can make people laugh! Thanks!

    ReplyDelete

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