Now that I think about it - they're all women, and they are all REALLY good at coloring. I'll come back to that some day and win a Nobel Prize for doing the research on that connection.
Until then, let me share some holiday advice with you.
One of these friends - we'll call her Alexandra, Queen of Police - told me that a LOT of people - like MOST people - die without their pants on.
And by pants I mean over AND under.
We asked her why this is, and she does not know the answer - but out there in the world right now - police are finding a half nekkid dead person.
So here's my caution to you over the holidays - since for whatever reason, people are more at risk of dying during this time of year (I blame cold weather)...
BEFORE YOU TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, DO THE FOLLOWING:
- Check your surroundings - are there any large predators, like bears or lions hurtling towards you?
- Do you see a serial killer near you?
- Are you standing on the window ledge of the 13th floor of a tall building?
- Did you just drink drain cleaner?
- Did you eat at Taco Cabana recently?
- Look up - is there an anvil on a frayed rope hanging over your head?
- Are you driving towards a lake at 100 miles per hour, with the car doors locked?
- Are you on the Titanic?
- Have you just touched the filthy ordering Ipad in a steakhouse?
- Are you eating something that was made in China?
- Are you improperly using a Red Rider BB gun?
- Are you running with scissors?
You're welcome.
I guess the only thing this doesn't really address is if the actual act of taking your pants off sometimes spontaneously kills you. I'll research that and get back with you. Until then, be safe.
I'm finally starting to get to play with my pre-order, and you know I went right for the fuzzy bear.
He's not wearing pants, so he probably won't be with us long.
I made a little video of the bear card for you - hope you enjoy it. With your pants on.
Loveyameanitdontdiehalfnekkidbye.
#1 - putting my pants back on
ReplyDelete#2 - beautiful coloring. That's a gorgeous backdrop for these flowers and standing-on-its-tonails bear.
#3 - I love how you've staggered the sentiments.
#4 - You are brilliant.
I wonder how many of those pantsless people fell off the terlet.
ReplyDeleteWell you can't very well keep your pants on there! That may be the Achilles heel!
ReplyDeleteGreat! I was just going to get in the shower, now what?
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure those pants less people were unfortunate to end up in the hospital prior to dying. It is a scared truth that once you enter the door of a hospital off comes the pants. They then stick you in a worn out Gucci gown that opens in the back and tells you to relax. Considering how drafty those gowns are your cheeks catch a chill and boom down you go. With NO pants and your cheeks sticking out. Dignity be damned that hospital made room for another one. Ambulances meander the streets looking for sick people you know. Don't spread that rumor!!
ReplyDeleteOh no, one more thing to worry about. On the bright side, I'm glad I'm not a first responder! Love to watch your watercolor, you make it look easy.
ReplyDeleteYou are hysterical. I miss you so. ♡♡♡
ReplyDeleteNekkid or not, that is one adorable bear...BTW, I do have both sets of my pants on in case there's a minor disaster or something. Think everyone involved will be grateful.
ReplyDeleteLove watching you paint as you shared your dulcet tones with us.
Love the card. Also love Taco Cabana. ;-)
ReplyDeleteFreaking hilarious!
ReplyDelete