I don't need to hear a long list of someone's embarassing fungal symptoms while I'm just trying to watch The Middle and have a pizza.
I also do not need to hear what is going to happen to the fungal victim should they try to seek treatment with this company's drug - the results of which are FAR worse than the fungus. The drug causes cancer, blindness, eyeball rupture and club feet - but it does WONDERS on the fungus. There's always 10 seconds of positive and 20 seconds of side effects.
Then three months later, you start seeing the class action lawsuit ads for the drug.
They should just combine them. 10 seconds of yay - your fungus will be gone, 10 seconds of Stephen King level side effects, and 10 seconds of class action information sponsored by Dewey, Cheatham & Howe.
It's to the point now where I'm actually starting to think that all the big drug companies are just fronts for law firms. Pretty good idea, if you think about it.
I was wondering what would happen if craft products were forced to be marketed the same way.
Ads for the latest stamp & die bundle might go like this.
In an excited voice, a woman who sounds like a cross between Martha Stewart and Gwen Stefani says: "WAIT until you see the new Fuzzy Bunny stamp and die bundle - it's going to change your crafting life forever. Stamp little bunnies and cut them out in seconds, enlivening your spring crafting projects, bringing you inner peace and making you skinnier."
And then, at 10x speed in a voice more like Voldemort's, she says "Use of this stamp and die bundle may lead to stained hands, clothing and carpet. Dies may get lost or stuck to the back of your MISTI for months, causing you extreme anxiety. You may be accused of hoarding. You may BE hoarding. You may buy a brand new storage system based on this product alone. This may lead to you taking over the family dining room. You may scream at family members until you find your bunny die. You may experience feelings of wantmonster over other unbought bunnies. Say goodbye to the top of your desk for a few months. Craft Corp is not responsible for the hours spent on Pinterest looking for ideas for this bundle. You will see videos by Jennifer McGuire with other bunnies, neglect your bunnies and buy more bunnies. You may forget to bathe or feed people while playing with bunnies. You may buy six new packages of pink cardstock trying to find the perfect match. Bunnies may lead to the purchase of 400 Copic markers and refills. You may accidentally drink watercolor water while Instagramming your bunnies. If you feel you have been harmed by Craft Corp's bunnies, you may be entitled to compensation - contact Dewey, Cheatham & Howe today.
Today I'm the guest at the Fusion Card Challenge blog, thanks to my friend Stef, and this was our inspiration piece:
I KNEW what I was going to use the second I saw it.
First, I took the Brights Pattern pack and cut various width strips - I didn't measure - just random. I flipped some upside down to make the chevron pattern - I think I saw this first from Brian King.
Then I adhered them to a white card base, and cut an opening with my Ovals framelits, and stamped the sentiment from Enjoy the Little Things on the inside of the card.
Then I cut two roses with the Rose Garden Thinlits - one white and one Melon Mambo. I covered the back of the Melon Mambo outline with tape, and pieced the white pieces back into the outline and attached it to the card. The sequins are from the Watercolor Wishes kit - they are my fave sequins - so iridescent and pretty.
Built for Free Using: My Stampin Blog
Thanks for a fun challenge Stef!
I'm off to CHA so I'll be peeking things soon on my other channels.