It's after countless hours of research that I can bring you this amazing regimen. I actually can't believe that I'm the first person to market this groundbreaking program.
I can't reveal ALL of the elements of the regimen, but I can give you the high points and there's no way we all can't fit this into our lives.
To get the sleek, toned body of a panther (not a cougar, because that's gross) - here's all you need to do:
- Sleep 16 hours per day
- Run around the house twice per day at TOP SPEED, preferably knocking things off surfaces as you do so. Parkour during the circuit is completely optional.
- Do exactly FOUR extreme cat stretches - these should be done during your sleeping period, and should be followed by spinning around but ending up in the exact same position you were in before you stretched.
- Spend one hour per day eating. This can be broken into multiple eating sessions during the time you're awake.
- Spend at least 45 minutes crying each day. Preferably at 4 AM
- Spend no less than half an hour of your awake time batting small, preferably breakable or liquid filled objects off surfaces in your home.
- Spend no less than ten minutes staring at things no one else can see.
- Bathe ten times during waking hours.
Toned muscles. Shiny hair. 1% body fat. People who don't even know you will stop you and pat you from head to tail.
You can thank me later.
Here's a composite of what you're going to look like when you've done this for several weeks.
I made this card from October's My Paper Pumpkin kit, and I added the little cat from Bite Me, as well as some Witches' Brew Washi Tape.
I used the Washi Tape actually to cover up the green accents on the bottom of that cute little index card die cut from the kit. The reason I did this was because today's Challenge Chicks challenge is to make a Halloween card with no orange, green or purple on it - harder than you think! It's also my sample for Kathy's Hope You Can Cling To challenge. Don't forget to come play with us - we have more than $5,000 in prizes to give away! :)
I can't wait to see all your before and after pictures after you buy my awesome Panther Fit program.