See - the 22 pound turkey in my fridge made it go berserk and freeze everything. My fridge goes into fight or flight zombie apocalypse mode when it's full and tries to overperform. So my existing celery was frozen. And tonight we're having our un-New Year's meal with my sister and her husband - turkey, stuffing, broccoli rice casserole, mashed potatoes with Full Quiver Farms Farmstead chive cheese and butter... jealous yet?
So anyway, as I pull into the parking lot, I'm listening to my favorite gardening show by John Dromgoole and I hear my sister call in, so I sit in the car for a bit to listen to her call.
That's when I found out that she was a beet murderer. Well, she wasn't BEFORE she called, but the solution to her tiny beet problem, John said, was that she wasn't murdering enough of her baby beets while they slept.
It's true. Apparently, each beet seed actually makes five or six little beets and you have to murder, or "thin" (nice try at a nice word, John!) a lot of them to let the other ones grow to their full potential. A moment of silence for the beet babies, please.
Imagine finding out this way that you're related to a beet murderer.
Anyway, right after that call I heard reason # 2,452,403,898,909,877,625,113,234 that the government is stupid.
It was a really cute ad by a local plumbing company that really does funny marketing. But at the end of their ad, they are forced by law to say TACL0928347938 or whatever their license number is. REALLY?? Seriously? What the heck does that do for consumers? NOTHING. It's a stupid law made by stupid people that probably cost the state of Texas 84 billion dollars of my money to implement and ruined a perfectly good ad. When have you ever been sitting in your car and written down that number and looked it up? Never. And you never will. No one ever will. It is 5 wasted marketing seconds brought to you by a group of people with the collective intelligence of bellybutton lint.
After that, I needed coffee. Thank God Starbucks was across the street.
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