Monday, June 4, 2012

Your Dirty Diaper Doesn't Match My Purse (And Other Feats of Mangineering)

I have struggled recently with "mangineering."

These are things engineered by men, but used by women.

We need more female engineers.

First, a complete affront to society greets me at every crosswalk in Austin. 

These torture devices, while seemingly appropriate to a Birkenstock wearing middle aged man hopped up on Red Bull, are like foot Gitmo to anyone in decent female footwear, like heels. The bumps dig through the thin sole of a woman's shoe like the IRS through a tax return. I curse the Y chromosome each time I am forced to walk over these. 

And then, there's the grocery cart. The woefully inadequate, man-brain spawned grocery cart.

What if you said to your nearest Birkenstock wearing male engineer - "Hey, Thaddeus - how about you give me your wallet, and I will put it down in a pile of baby poop while you shop at Game Stop for a new Nintendo Controller?"

What would Thaddeus say through his unkempt beard? Probably something not fit for a family blog such as this. 

However, Thaddeus is perfectly satisfied to design a grocery cart where a poopy baby is plopped down in the same space I'm supposed to put my purse while I shop. Thaddeus thinks - hey - ladies either have poopy babies or they have purses, so we need a box for them to store those two things in. God forbid that the destined-never-to-be-married Thaddeus think for just a hot second that perhaps those two things should NOT coexist and a simple purse hook under the handle might make the lady shopper happy and not twitchy over imagining the poop germs overtaking her purse. 

It might make her not want to hunt Thaddeus down and whip him senseless with her poopy purse. Just saying. 

I guess the cart theme inspired me though, because I did come up with this while I was cursing Thaddeus and his minions.
Pin It

Stamps: Summer Afternoon 
Ink: Basic Black, reinkers
Paper: Summer Smooches DSP, Watercolor Paper, Whisper white
Accessories: Black Polka Dotted Ribbon

This one is one of my faves from the new catalog.

It almost makes me forget my poopy purse.

What feet of mangineering would you undo if you could?


14 comments:

  1. Oh great. I never even thought about poopy purses before today and now I'm going to have to sew up a cart cozy before I go to the store next time.

    Very cute card! I love that set.

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  2. I am quite sure that a man designed the machine that mammograms are done with. You don't see any man putting his jewels between two pieces of glass and squashing them, do you? Just saying...

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  3. Have you ever had to get a wheelchair over those bumpy things??!! Horrible idea!! They are EVERYWHERE too! I understand it is so you don't slip on the ramp, but sheesh, you cannot even get up the dang ramp in a wheelchair!! Thanks for the vent! Happy adorable card... :)

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  4. Not only shopping carts drive me nuts but the whole grocery shopping experience. We have to trudge around a store with aisles set up with cardboard displays to make things worse as we navigate with wobbly or square wheels, then after we finally find the things we are looking for, we wait in a ridiculous line up to hand over our hard earned cash for their 'Specials'. Then we have a clerk smash it into bags which will disintegrate and become full of holes before we even get close to our vehicle. After we retrieve the escaping groceries we drive home, lug it into the house, try to find a place in our man designed cabinets with the wrong sized shelves or a freezer full of ice...masculine design again at work. When it is all stashed somewhere we turn around to find a house full of people standing and looking at us saying they are hungry and there is nothing to eat. No wonder so many women are on anti depressants!!!!
    Please forgive me for my rant. I feel a little better now and think I will go lay down while my family starve in a kitchen full of food.

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  5. Laundry machines are installed in the basement, while 98% of dirty laundry accumulates on the second floor of the house and 98% of clean laundry is stored... of course, on the second floor of the house. Masochists or morons, you make the call!

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  6. I give a heartfelt "AMEN" to every word written today - perfectly said. Great card too!

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  7. Aahhh, mangineering. Good subject, all way too true! .. I agree that those bumpy brick things are painful to walk on, but they have been added to sidewalks to alert blind people of an approaching intersection. Don't ever try walking around on old Philadelphia cobblestone streets, they're even worse!

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  8. Aahhh, mangineering. Good subject, all way too true! .. I agree that those bumpy brick things are painful to walk on, but they have been added to sidewalks to alert blind people of an approaching intersection. Don't ever try walking around on old Philadelphia cobblestone streets, they're even worse!

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  9. I don't know if men invented them but I personally hate high heals and bras. I still wear the bra out of respect for those around me who don't want to watch them bounce and jiggle, however, you'll never catch me in heals.

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  10. This post? Hilarious. And all too true. Your Card? Absolutely beautiful. And I love that set.

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  11. One of good friends' most derogatory comments is 'That's just like a man"

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  12. I adopted a good friend's favorite ultimate derogatory comment - "That's so like a man!"

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  13. Back when I used to wear heels, I worked at a company that had cobblestone halls. Beautiful, yet deadly. Now that I wear only flats, I no longer notice these things.

    I also wear sports bras, because I detest regular bras so. I don't need the "lift and separate" -- probably only men care about that anyway. I just need no jiggle.

    And yes to the basement laundry problem! My last house had one on the second floor, and it was SA-WEEEET!

    But I AM convinced men created panty hose. I mean, who DOESN'T want to be wrapped in nylon when it's 3466 degrees out and 2346356% humidity?

    Not that I'm bitter...

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  14. Beautiful cards!

    Mangineering is one of my favorite gripes! Fixed postion shower heads are at the top of my list. The inventor obviously never had to clean a shower!

    Also: highway exit ramps that are 100 feet after an entrance ramp...do they do these things just because they can?

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