Monday, October 3, 2011

How a Crafter Kills a Bug

Well not a bug.

A hideous, evil predator bent on that crafter's destruction.

A SCORPION.

I nearly had to sell my house last week.

Yep.

THERE WAS A SCORPION IN HERE. Walking down the hall like he OWNED the place! As a result, I learned two important lessons.

  • A scorpion is a quick test of your faith. If you see a scorpion in your house walking down the hall in your formerly sacred and inviolate domicile and the first word that escapes your lips (so loudly your neighbors come over, I might add) is NOT that of your Lord and Savior, you are probably an atheist. 
  • Always be prepared to kill something. As I was in flip flops - this is still haunting me as I've replayed an imaginary scenario where the scorpion kills me about a thousand times in my head - and unprepared for the confrontation, it was quickly apparent how important this rule is. Also, I was not about to get close to this beast so that it could jump on my face like that thing in Aliens. I briefly considered shooting it, but that seemed impractical. My training took over. There are some things you have handled so many times that you know their precise heft and density. I had such a thing nearby. It was a full box of Stampin' Up! Catalogs. As anyone who has dragged these in from their porch knows, a full box is HEAVY. I darted around the corner like a ninja and grabbed my box. From a height of four feet, I dropped that sucker on the unsuspecting arachnid like an H-bomb. But I've seen scary movies. I know that you don't go sit down in the living room and weep while that undead beast comes up behind you and finishes you off. I jumped up and down and squished on that thing until it was practically atoms. 
Be prepared. 

Also, who says stampers aren't the fiercest people on earth? It's not all glitter and ribbon people!!!

Speaking of scary things - well, much less scary than that - how about a little more Halloween goodness?

Last week I did a video of the Sweet Treat Slider technique for Splitcoast and it was so fun! What's cool about this card is that you can keep the candy safe and the card intact - the little slider is a door that lets the person you give it to get the candy out without ripping your cute witch card apart! Fun, eh? 

The images are from Wicked Cool

It's really a fun & easy project. The step by step written tutorial is at the link above, and the video is below. I hope you like it!

If you don't see a video player below, just click to see the Sweet Treat Slider tutorial video.

 Don't forget to come play along with Hope You Can Cling To! We're having a blast. Link in my sidebar!

And REALLY don't forget that you can get a free Big Shot this month!!

Loveyameanitbye.
 

21 comments:

  1. HILL-AIR-EE-US! I've only been following you since your convention coverage but I look forward to your posts. Nice card, too!

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  2. Your card is super cute! Seriously, I was laughing out loud at your scorpion story! Eeeeek!!! Way to go, Warrior Woman!

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  3. Oh girl I don't blame you! We don't have anything at all close to that in Iowa and I am glad for that!! YUCK! I'm glad you are safe - now just to stay that way! Totally adorable card! What a fun fun idea! Thanks for the inspiration!
    Hugs, Sarah

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  4. thank you for this public service announcement. i laughed out loud, but truly, i feel better prepared after your report.

    loveYOUmeanitbye.

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  5. In my world, that critter would have scooted before I got my paws on the catalog box. EEEEP! I did much the same thing with a lowly cricket, and being related to dinosaurs, the bugger LIVED! I picked up the killing object and he was MOVING! I almost moved myself.

    Anywho, love the tutorial! And I agree ... a crafter definitely stocks your store. I'm pretty sure no one wants bulk quinoa in their treat cup.

    WV: dedulang
    I will kill the next cricket dedulang with a box of killer catalogs! (What do non-Demos use for bug eradication, I wonder?)

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  6. I love your delightful sense of humor and how you handled your scorpion issue! You make me laugh. I would've been totally FREAKIN' out! You are so brave to have eradicated it yourself. I probably would've called the Orkin Man. ha! ha!

    Thanks for a great tutorial on the treat slider cup. Your card IS wicked cute!

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  7. You rock! I will never forget the first time I came face-to-face with one. They are EBIL!

    I love your humor, Lydia - keep it up! You are mumantl! (xtra points yeah!)

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  8. This is SOOOOO cool (no pun intended). You make me laugh :) Thanks for the tutorial!

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  9. LOL!! We don't kill bugs here. Yes, we ARE crazy. We catch them and put them outside where they belong. However, a scorpion? Whole other scenario. I have no idea what I would have done once I stopped screaming.

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  10. Well, I have never had to get rid of a scorpion in our neck of the woods but I love your method! Sounds like the armed forces should sit up and take notice of your maneuvers! Our worst unwanted house guests have been earwigs and I know if there is one there are probably a few hundred more lurking around. Hope scorpions aren't like that!
    I love your treat card and that it doesn't have to be demolished after all that work for a few treats. Cool!
    Thanks for sharing! :)

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  11. Bright moment in my day! I just loved this. You need to be writing for comedians. Lord knows you do a better job than most of them do! Sorry about the scorpion! Talk to me when you've had a rat snake drop down from the top of the door you have just opened and land on your shoulder. Very aceri (anti spam verification word.)

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  12. I found a scorpion lurking on the bottom riser of my stairs - the evening of the day I dropped off my DH at the airport for a 2 week deer hunting adventure. I had no handy SU catalog box but I did have a handy vacuum cleaner and duct tape. The vacuum's volume and my volume were near equal as I sucked up the offending critter. However, when I turned off the vacuum, I could hear the rustle-rustle of the little legs trying to escape the bag!!! Thus the handy duct tape. I taped all known vacuum orifices and set the machine outside for DH's return. Duct tape comes in handy for critter corraling. I've used it on my DH's back when he brought back a visitor after spending ALL DAY in the woods. Yep, a wood tick. I heard it walking on DH's back as my face was 3 inches away (in the deep dark of night). I woke, leapt out of bed, turned on the light, saw 'it', shrieked (which THEN woke up DH), saw the duct tape (doesn't everyone keep duct tape on the dresser?), taped the wood tick and very carefully (albeit not quietly) peeled away the tape and the tick. DH completed the disposal (after he stopped laughing?!?!). Oh yes, I totally understand the need to move to an uninfested house. And I would not recommend buying a black light to see if you can find more lurking critters in your abode - you might just find them!

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  13. Who better than a crafter to be quick thinking?I'm so glad you survived the almost stealth attack.... You could sell this experience as the perfect reason to become a demo...that way a heavy box of catalogs will always be handy! Love that slider card. Great idea to be able to the card intact... *smile*

    wv: dinons
    What you scream as you drop a heavy box on Nons the Scorpion.

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  14. OMG, you make me laugh!!!

    I came for lovely stamped cards & stay for your HUMOR!! I'd have done the same...

    stamper 1- scorpion 0!!!

    & btw, I'll sell you mine waterfront house, complete with SOME stamps (too cold for scorpions here)... R ;)

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  15. smooth operation, well-executed. what is the average intelligence of a scorpion? (we don't have them in WI). i suppose there's no negotiating with them. I have a working detente with some centies in my workshop - i think they're kinda graceful, all those legs rippling along, and they must eat smaller, nastier things, and keep the "ingle" (wv) population under control

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  16. Lydia, when was it you mentioned that cicada on your shoulder?! Not 1 week later, one landed on my balconey - in front of my reading chair!- and scared the bloomers right off me. Since then, several cicadas have flown into me in my garden. Until that day, I had never even seen one here in Montreal Cdn. (I know they exist - I just never saw one face to face).
    Now, I am looking around for a scorpion, cos, you know, you had just encountered one.
    I shudder at the memory of your story, cos I know (!) I'd have freaked out the same way.
    PS: laundry detergent boxes and phone books used to be great bug annihialators.
    What is happening with the world today?!

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  17. I pledge you my undying affection. Not in a freaky stalker-ish kind of way, but in an eternal blog fan king of way. "It's not all glitter and ribbon, people." Because of statements like this, I'm eternally yours. You slay me.

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  18. I can totally relate. Why are they here and in OUR HOMES? Aren't our homes
    supposed to be a place of refuge?

    Creepy creepy creepy little aliens!

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