Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Dear SWA Crew Member, You are in the.....

Dog house.

Yep.

Yours truly had a quite pooptacular experience with a Southwest Airlines crew member (off duty) on my marathon trek back from Chicago last week. The crew that worked all THREE of my flights that day were angels, as per usual, and got me to my destination safely and on time, without charging me 80 squillion dollars for my bags. I love Southwest Airlines.

But this story must be told.I changed my flight, as I was dying to get home a little earlier after two weeks on the road. My bags made it onto an early afternoon flight on standby, but I, tragically, did not. I waited for the 4:30 to Kansas city. The flight is oversold. The last empty seat is the middle seat in my row. The crew was waiting for an off duty crew member for that last seat. She was late.

She walks onto the plane, and my heart sinks. This person coming to sit in the last four square inches is holding my worst pet peeve in her late hands. A giant bag of stinky McDonald's grub from the airport that I will now be forced to smell. Just what I needed - the stench of a McRib or a Filet of Fish and the sounds of someone eating one micron away from my face.

Oh, but it gets better. She has two giant carry ons. She just sits down, shoves one under the seat and starts moving MY purse under the seat in front of me. I barked at her, and she leaves this giant thing on her lap, sensing through her insensitivity that I might be a woman on the edge of something quite memorable. We have pushed back. An anxious steward comes by and tells her she needs to stow it. She doesn't care. She says - "I don't have anywhere to put it." He says - "we've already pushed back - the bins are full." She says "WELL I'M NOT GOING TO CHECK IT. IT'S FULL OF FOOD". Of course it is. Probably crawdads. He sighs and takes it from her off to the back somewhere.

It gets better.Immediately following takeoff, she reaches THROUGH MY FACE to grab that same steward's arm as he sprints towards the front of the plane. She says "Hey - that bag y'all took from me (what? excuse me?) - that has my headphones in it. Will you bring me my headphones?" I just flat out stared at her with my mouth open, hoping for the steward's suggestions about places she could have put her headphones prior to take off. I was prepared with my own list of places. Sadly, those didn't come. Shockingly, he goes and gets them. I realize that people have forgotten the fine art of devastating, colorfully worded attitude adjustments.

An hour of McRib smell later, we are about to land in Kansas. We are not changing planes, so they tell us to stay in our seats until they count us and then we can move. I'm coiled like a big cat in the jungle ready to spring across thirty rows of seats to get away from this insane person when she stands up and says "I'm gonna move." I look at her, sleep deprived me, with my sore feet and my sore throat, and I said....

"Not as fast as I am, lady."

You, with your cooler full of God knows what and your bag of offensive and your headphones - you, are in the dog house.
Is this too subtle for such an occasion you think? All white on white, punches and embosslits? Perhaps. But she could have used a little subtlety. :)

Anyway - how about those prizes I promised? You guys had some fabulous books!!

Instead of one prize, since I'm so late, I'll choose three!! I have one of the adorable tote bags from convention, your choice of pattern, one collapsible trashcan for your stamp camps or desk, and the Vintage Wallpaper Embossing Folder.

It's first come first serve for my responders - if you're first, you choose your prize first! If no one claims by Friday, I'll choose again :)

My friends at random.org tells me my winners are:

1colincary, Laurie Ludwig and Beedubya!

Thanks for all the book ideas! Off to enter them in my Amazon Wish List! Loveyameanitbye.

OH - and don't forget - my CHA pics are on the Understand Blue Facebook Page and the Splitcoaststampers Facebook Page - you do NOT have to be a member of Facebook to see them!

Have you signed up for the UBlue Cyber Club? Attended one of my Webinars?? Come on - get your geek on! :)
Want to see my other blog?

13 comments:

  1. YAY! Thanks so much Lydia!!! I'd love one of those trash cans!!! YAY!!! Can you e-mail me your address so I can send you a thank-you card, please?

    Hugs,
    Brandi
    lincolnwiggins@hotmail.com

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  2. Oh, poor you getting stuck next to her. Too bad you couldn't move to another seat.

    Love the card.

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  3. Pooptacular?
    That is now my new favorite word.



    Word verification: shedul
    haha! How appropriate for your tardy seatmate.

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  5. i h8 rude and i h8 mcrib smell...i love that pretty embossing folder, lucky winner who gets to choose that

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  6. I love this card!!!! Like the saying and the fact it's all white.

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  7. Aren't snarky cards FUN to make?!?!?!?

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  8. So sorry for your experience. I would write to the company, because off-duty or not, she was still representing SWA (and not very well at that).

    I can see that I need to have a remedial "order the coffee with the little stabby sword in it so you can poke the offender to death" class with you when I get home. Glad you are safely home, and love all the pictures from CHA!

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  9. oh my goodness Lydia! I am so surprised at how inconsiderate some people can be. I sure hope that you get some rest and that things calm down for you and your kitties now that you are at home.

    Love ya! M

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  10. I'm sorry about your terrible experience, Lydia. I hate considerable people like her.

    Love your dog house card! LOL!!

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  11. Oh Lydia, I'm sorry to hear about your miserable seatmate. You'd think as an airline employee, she'd know better. Truthfully though, I sometimes do eat that McDonald's garbage (don't hate me!), and it would never have occured to me that others might find that smell offensive. Good thing to know for the future. I hate flying, just hate it. No matter what airline or how good they are. It's just too many bodies with all their "stuff" (belongings & otherwise) in too small a space. My personal pet peeves are people who don't fit within the confines of their seat & think it's perfectly ok to raise the arm rest and take 1/2 of my seat. (I don't mind that arrangement with my hubby, but NOT with someone I don't even know!) And the person in front of me who simply must recline his seatback in order to be comfortable. The only thing that really accomplishes is that I get to look at the top of his head and my tray table is now shoved into my abdomen. And I haven't a prayer of reaching anything in my purse at my feet. I wish airlines would just quit making reclining seat backs. But I love to travel otherwise, so I just view the flying part as a necessary evil & try to get through it as gracefully as possible. (I could go into the issues of confinement & loss of control, but that's a whole other thing. Obviously I don't fly well. I usually go right to sleep as soon as we're airborne and wake up as the plane is landing. And that's best for everyone on the plane. LOL) Glad you had fun on your trips though. Thanks for all the updates from convention - I hope to get to one again some year.

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  12. Wow! Rude doesn't begin to cover this behavior. And just how did Miss McRib manage to get onto the jetway with two carry on bags? Sounds like someone feels priviledged and no-one was willing to tell her 'NO.' I'd definitely give the folks at SWA an earful about this. Trying to move YOUR purse?! She'd have had a broken arm if she tried it on ME. So sorry you had to put up with this!!

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