Saturday, November 8, 2008

The Worst Invention Since the Pinto & A Tutorial

I bet you can't wait to hear about the domestic equivalent of the Pinto - but you're gonna have to suffer through my Cuttlebug Batik tutorial first!!!

I learned about this through SmilynStef's blog - she had the most amazing post of some cool finds, among them, Stamping Mathilda's incredible technique!!! She calls it resist, but to me it looks like batik, so my apologies to that talented woman for liberties with the name.

I tried it, and tested it for you, and found it to be so incredibly brilliant and easy I thought I'd share!

So here we go. I used a very modified Beate's Weekend Sketch Challenge for my inspiration.

First, cut a piece of wax paper about the size of your Cuttlebug embossing folder. I chose the pumpkin one that I got recently and didn't have time to use before Halloween.

Place the piece of wax paper carefully in the folder and run it through your machine.

The finished product is actually really pretty all by itself and would probably be cute on a card.

But we need to shrug off the stamping ADD I get all the time and just soldier on.

Next, carefully place this embossed wax paper between two pieces of Whisper White the same size as the wax paper. It's important that it doesn't slip around, so once you put the sandwich down on your mat, make sure the top piece and the wax paper don't slide.

Now - and I know this will horrify people who know me and my proclivity for purchasing knits and other alien fabricated materials which do not wrinkle PRECISELY to avoid this implement, but *gasp* - you are gonna need an iron. I went and bought one. Geez - irons are EXPENSIVE. No wonder I don't like them.

Anyway, after you read the manual because you've never used one before, fire that puppy up. Mine was on cotton or something I think - the important thing is that it NOT be on steam.

Gently iron the sandwich until your inner voice tells you its ready - 20 seconds or so - but just iron the whole thing.

When you pull it off you will see the faint design on the paper. This does not photograph well.

However, grab your brayer and stand by for magic! I used So Saffron Ink for mine. You will see after you brayer both pieces that one is a positive and one is a negative - incredible!!!

This one is the other half of the one I used on the card. (So, it's from the opposite side of the wax paper.)

You can really see the difference in the two looks.

I love techniques that let me get multiple useful pieces!

I give this technique an A+ for easy, quick, stunning results!

I'm going to share another technique with the dreaded iron very soon.

But now, the domestic Pinto.

For you young 'uns, the Pinto was a car made by Ford that had a less than desirable feature - namely - it exploded. When you think you are buying a car and you find out it's actually an IED, you tend to be a little snarky, to say the least.

Well I'm here to tell you, I feel exactly the same way about so-called "select a size" paper towels!!! If there were a bleep machine in my house on the days I realize I have mistakenly purchased these, dogs for miles around would be howling for hours at the high pitched sounds coming from my residence.

Those %#^& thing are like a practical joke!!!

#1 - You don't get to "select" a size! Every time you reach for one of these you get a little shred of towel that is EXACTLY the size of the piece that's stuck to the glue on the inside of the roll when you're done with it.

#2 - The only people who could POSSIBLY want one of these little shreds are people WHO DIDN'T WANT A PAPER TOWEL ANYWAY!! So sell them something else - like a cottonball or a bandaid or an eyepatch!! But those things are not paper towels, and should not be sold as such!!

#3 - I'm pretty sure they are just factory seconds that some freak headed person decided they should just sell in a meeting where some really stupid and greedy executives decided he/she needed a raise and promotion to supervisor of TPS reports. And we wonder what's wrong with Wall Street. - IT'S SELECT A SIZE PAPER TOWELS.

And if they think I haven't noticed how they HIDE the fact that they are shreds on the packaging they are WRONG. They make it impossible to tell.

I have no use for 1/10th of a paper towel, and any person who does, like maybe Sheryl Crow, who said we should all use ONE SQUARE OF TOILET PAPER to save the cave spiders or prevent global warming, should have to hand cut them with their hemp knives or burn a piece off with their bongs!!

I feel SO much better now!

Hope you are all having a great Saturday and have homes filled with full size paper towels. I fell asleep at about 6:15 yesterday, so I was peppy enough to cook a fabby meal, which I hope to have soon!

CU L8R

32 comments:

  1. HAHAHA!!!!!! Too darn funny! TPS reports....yeah...I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday and finish those! You always manage to make me laugh! Have a great weekend!

    ~M

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  2. I'm glad to know there is someone else out there that dislikes select-a-size as much as I do. My hubby bought them by accident from Costco so of course we had like 10,000 of them. LOL

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  3. Love the batik tutorial...I'll be trying that one very soon!

    ROFL about the SAS paper towels. The only good thing I can say about them is that they are perfect "napkin" size for the 4-year old (of course she always needs more than one napkin per meal, so there is that)! The hubby actually begged me to find "real" paper towels at the store for us.

    Hope you don't end up alienating the kittens with all the bleeping...lol! Talk to you soon!

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  4. OMWord! I was seriously laughing so hard at this post! First of all, you're a GENIUS!! The Wax paper and embossing folders - seriously - too much! I can't WAIT to show that to my club this month!!! And the paper towel rant! I'm going to be laughing for days over that one.

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  5. Lydia,

    You are too funny! However, at least you aren't like me with those stupid towels. No joke, whenthose dumb things first came out I accidentally bought some. Now keep in mind that I don't get to watch very much TV other than a cartoon DVD with my daughter. So, I don't see commercials very much. I actually thought that I had a defective roll! Then I went and read the bulk package. Duh!

    Lisa A.

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  6. Fabulous result with the batik! Image and background are a perfect match!
    Fun stories :)

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  7. Ha ha ha! That was so dang funny! My dad (who recently came to live with us)swears by those dumb SAS paper towels! He keeps telling me to buy them even though they are more expensive than the paper towel I normally buy. If I need something smaller than a regular size sheet I'll grab a tissue or a napkin! We're not smurfs for goodness sake!
    Awesome idea for the wax paper! thanks for sharing!
    -Elizabeth

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  8. 1st- I *faint* over your Batik tute!!! Fab!

    2nd- I ROFLMAO over the paper towel incident!
    3rd- How in da hail do you use ONE square of tp? HUH? Does she not poop????? (sorry, but really...LOL)

    You're killin me!! lol Thanks!

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  9. Love the tutorial. Definitely going to try that - you made it sound so easy.

    Your take on the paper towels is great. THe only thing worse is getting a regular roll with perforations that don't tear easily so when you pull, 10 or more roll off all over the counter. Been getting a lot of that lately!

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  10. Great Tutorial!! I knew I had an iron for some reason!!!

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  11. LOL! I was reading your comments on not knowing how to use an iron, and my peripheral vision was seeing a piece of paper that looked scorched right as you were saying "your inner voice will know when it's done" and I almost spit up my iced tea, thinking that maybe you didn't have an inner voice with an opinion on when ironing was done, so you scorched it. But it was just So Saffron being brayered. Much less excitement than I was expecting, but I love the technique. Too bad about needing an iron, though.

    I miss the kitty-while-you-work photos. I guess they're getting too big to drape over you and sleep while you work, eh?

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  12. This turned out so cool ... love it!

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  13. An Iron? - really? They still make those? Great tutorial ty for sharing it!

    I am so with you on the paper towels. I haven't found a good use for them yet. My 4yo usually makes a bigger mess than an inch of PT. I can't believe they are still on the market. (I think it is a conspiracy and it is not clearly labeled on the pkging)

    And as for 1 square of TP (are you kidding me!?!?! - maybe we should just carry a damp wash cloth and rinse it out in the river somewhere) LOL

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  14. WOW! I don't have a cuttlebug, but this effect makes me want one! that is SO COOL!

    ok, i'm going to share something that i hope doesn't end our friendship. i LOVE select-a-size paper towels! i use them exclusively, and i think full-sized paper towels are a waste. i hope you can still find it in your heart to be my friend.

    btw, the iridescent ice suggestion was brilliant! even more so, though, was the thread on SCS where someone shared that she'd made her own using clear EP and glitter! i tried it, and it works! i don't have to hunt for it tomorrow at my local craft store, and i don't have to pay expedited shipping to get it here by saturday!

    another crazy week ahead, but i'm going to take it one day at a time...

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  15. I knew I was right to NOT buy select-a-size!
    Great tutorial, thanks for sharing, I am off to find my iron...it is here somewhere!

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  16. Lydia,
    Tell me how you REALLY feel about the paper towels. LOL
    You had me cracking up before 8:00 a.m. Not an easy task.
    Your card is beautiful! I can see my sketch in there. LOVE the background.
    Thanks for playing and giving me a good laugh.
    Hugs and smiles

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  17. Hilarious Lydia!

    Thanks for the tutorial. I have never seen this one, and I love my CB, so..I must try this out.
    Chriss

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  18. Hey Lydia
    I used to have a Pinto!!! Mine was baby blue ,hatchback and .......had a sunroof!! It was my first car I bought myself and I PUT THE MILES on it, didn't know about the blow up stuff until after I got rid of it but had some grat times in that buggy, my husband and I took on our honeymoon and got caught in a monsoon in Quebec and I had to use, are you ready??? a maxi pad (sorry) in the corner of the windshield to stop the rain from leaking in, hahahaha my husband and I always remember that day. Oh and I agree about the papertowels too!!!

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  19. So when I actually get my BS. I'll have to try this one...

    I have the SAS paper towels right now and some days I love them, other days I hate them. When you have to clean up dog puke, I hate them. The perforations are too big, and puke could possibly get through too. (Fortunately Costco also sells non-latex medical gloves. I live by those things...)

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  20. Only doing something like this would make me get my iron out -- I hate mine almost as much as you hate yours! Beautiful effect though!

    You were the Tutorial of the Week at Card of the Week.com. You can see the original post here: http://www.cardoftheweek.com/2008/11/crafting-101.html.

    I did use a picture from your post, with links back to the site and the original post. I hope that is OK. Please feel free to email me if you need me to change anything.

    I also have an “I was featured” on badge for you if you want it :D

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  21. I love this batik tutorial, I own an iron :), this looks so beautiful and so easy to do. Thanks.

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  22. Lydia - thanks for the heads up on this tutorial. Very cool. Being a cuttlebug dunce I didn't know they had an embossing feature. Cool to know. I'm sure there is a way to use wax paper for resist without the machine. Great challenge to explore. Thanks for getting me to think out of the box.

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  23. Hi. I LOVE the batik and will try that. As to the paper towels, I love them! My husband and I both think it is just the right size for most things and you can always tear off two. Much less waste. That's what makes horse racing. Jane

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  24. ok now!!! i'm not smilin' - i had a pinto STATION WAGON!!! oh that poor car!! but you know it got me around...just around..used to have to go "down the hill" to go shopping - it was getting back up that hill that was the problem!! had to get a running start about 10 miles from the hill!! l8 wheelers passed me by - up hill!!! SHEESH!! i do like your "batik" idea though...
    thanks for sharing

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  25. Owned a pinto wagon 'way back when, myself. Hey, it got me, my three kids, groceries and the dog just about everywhere we wanted to go--even from Minnesota to Texas (with my DH) one summer. We traded it in before anything happened. Love the tut! Will try it when I have time.

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  26. Oooh I'm so pleased I'm not a freak and that there are others 'out there' that hate ironing...(sorry for swearing),
    as much as me! I call it 'de-creasing', it's less stressful.
    Hmmmm, now where DID I put that de-creasing tool?? LOL
    TFS your fab sense of humour.
    Viv xxx

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  27. LMAO!!!! I grew up with a blue Pinto, My dad loved that car!!!
    After reading your wonderful comentary, I can only imagine what you would say about the "have a great day" message on Always Maxi pads!!

    Thanks for sharing the wax paper tech!! I am going to try it now!!

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  28. Messages on maxis? Mini paper towels-What is the world coming to? You used to have to stand in line with this giant box of pads, big enough to get noticed by the hot checkout guy-and the hot Brawny guy(if you're an 8 year old who actually likes mustaches) was all you needed to see when selecting paper towels. Just when you thought life would be easier when you grew up-paper towels got complicated!!!

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  29. Too funny! Thanks for the laugh. :-) Love your card and great tutorial. TFS

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  30. I'm a little late in checking out your tutorial but what a fun idea. One question though......how do you REALLY feel about those paper towels????? That was too funny. Sorry you had to experience them. :)

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  31. What a hoot! I have laughed & laughed, at your expense, I might add, about the paper towels!!! By the way, I totally agree w/ u!
    Your card & tutorial are great, too!! You made me want to try it. Thanks so much for sharing.

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  32. What a fun technique. I used it on a card that I posted on my blog, if you want to check it out. Thanks for sharing!

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